When you live in New York City you typically focus on all of the things that suck – your rent, your building, your friends, your pay check, your love life (or lack thereof). Every so often its good to step outside of your self – loathing and misery and be thankful for the people who make your miserable life go round. Don’t hate, appreciate.
10. The people who distribute AM New York / New York Daily News
You know who I’m talking about. You probably ignore them. You’re rushing to catch your train so you don’t roll into work late, you grab one of the daily papers that are stacked in the subway station, or straight out of the hand of these people who are handing them out. If you slow down a bit/take your earbuds out for a sec, you’ll find theyre actually really jolly in the morning. It’s nice to come on/off the train to someone greeting you. Even if its directed to the general mass of people the simple, Have a great day! is eerily reminiscent of what my mother would say every morning after she would drop me off in front of school in her Volvo Station wagon. Then I would harumphh. Now, when amNewYork lady at Union Square says it every morning as I bound down the stairs, I’m almost taken aback and think, Me?! How sweet! Human interaction in the morning is nice.
It’s fine barista… I always wanted a new way to spell my name.
09. Starbucks baristas that can’t spell.
Because if it weren’t for them, life would be so vanilla and you wouldn’t be opened up to the plethora of ways your name can be spelled. Admit it, you love the attention you get when you post on Insta/Facebook/Twitter “OMG my name is JENNIE! With an ie! Not JENNY! Is it THAT hard to spell my name right?!” or “It’s TAILOR not TAYLOR! Like the way you TAILOR a suit! DUH!” or “They spelt my name TANAIA wrong AGAIN! HOW MANY TIME DO I GOTTA TELL DIS BITCH ITS TANAY-A. PRONOUNCED LIKE TANAY – UH. DAMN GURL WHAT I GOTTA DO TO GET MY NAME SPELT RIGHT AROUND HERE? YOU FOOLS CANT SPELL MY NAME RIGHT?! CHYEAH. SEE IF I COME BACK UP IN THIS SPOT AGAIN. OH YOU BETTA BE SORRY!” … and so forth.
08. Cashiers at Trader Joes
Quite possibly the nicest people ever in all of New York. In a store full of madness and crazed customers trying to buy their weeks worth of groceries after waiting in line for about a half an hour, these cashiers aren’t only exchanging money, theyre exchanging love and smiles (oh good God I actually wrote that…). You’d be surprised what a great conversation you can have with these guys during the time it takes for them to ring up your groceries and swipe your card. I told one guy about how I just had a panic attack because I thought I’d left my wallet at home and he chilled me out and told me about the last time he had a panic attack – he was in a swivel chair leaning back and it almost fell backwards. Then another time at the Trader Joes wine shop the cashier totally didn’t judge me on the bottles of two buck chuck I was buying (to make mulled wine, duh), but instead we talked about how her boyfriend was a 49ers fan (she saw my 49ers workout shirt) and how they were going through a tough time at the moment. Are y’all robots programmed to double as therapists? I am so confused. I even catch myself buying a few things at TJ’s (which everyone knows is just stupid to do at Trader Joes because if youre waiting in line you might as well stock up), just to chat with my peoples.
07. The Spike Lee’s
You know what I’m talking about… I’m talking about the O.G.’s. The original New Yorkers who have decades on our short lives as New Yorkers. These people lived in Williamsburg and Bushwick before it was cool or even safe. Most notably, they’re always the diehard / ride or die Knicks fans that are insane about defending them. They hate hipsters, gentrification, and basically everyone who they didn’t grow up with back in the day. Side note – I totally swooned over Spike Lee’s rant on gentrification. I admit, NYC is just Spike Lee’s world… we’re just living in it.
06. Taxi drivers.
Exhibit A: Nothing in life is free… even a cab ride for an exchange for your number.
I’ve had experiences like this with cab drivers not once, but twice in the city! One should note that the sincerity of the cab driver when he asks “do you need me to pull over?” comes from probably and even split of 50% not wanting to have a mess in his cab, and 50% wanting to make sure I upchuck in the most lady like way possible (even though there is no such thing)…. okay maybe its more like a 70%/30% split when it comes down to it. But still, aside from being our knights in shining (yellow) armor when all we want to do is pass out in the back of a cab on our way home after a long night of being responsible human beings, cab drivers are really decent dudes. They’re always up for conversation (usually), and you’d be surprised how cool they are (sometimes)! I don’t get why cab drivers get such a bad rep… Okay in retrospect, I get it… as you can see in Exhibit A. For a month out of this Summer I found out the painfully hard way that nothing in life is free. Even a free cab ride in exchange for your number. And no, I wasn’t even sober enough to think to give a fake number! Oh did I regret that. Obviously the taxi driver was foreign – or just has terrible spelling / grammar skills … I’m guessing the former though. It’s okay though, I doesn’t forgot that tomorrow is sunday and I didn’t want to go for a diner with anyone anyways. Lesson learned? Never accept a free cab ride – you’ll end up paying for it anyways. But seriously guys, Taxi drivers are the bomb.com/awesomedudes.
05. Security professionals.
It always kills me a little inside every time I see a bouncer or a door man having to deal with a belligerently drunk moron who thinks they are above it all. I once saw this college kid arguing / yelling at a doorman who was probably 25-30 years his senior and had about 200lbs on the kid. After taking 5 minutes of this kids assholery (don’t look it up, its not a word word, but its my word), the security dude let loose and kicked the kid out to the street saying, “YOU DONT KNOW ME, I USED TO RUN GREENPOINT BACK IN THE DAY!” He continued to say how he was shot 5 times and has been cut 3 times and how he had absolutely no time to deal with this kids bullshit basically. I don’t know if it was out of fear or maybe its a coping mechanism but after that ordeal I started speaking Spanish to the doorman every time I saw him – it’s okay, he was Dominican. So obviously we’re best friends now.
04. The Mets
Seriously underrated. With beautiful mugs like those of Matt Harvey and David Wright, I have no idea how this is so.
03. Seamless delivery dudes.
Plz be safe Paco!
You really want to know what’s romantic? When your hungover and needing a mexican breakfast burrito with extra hot sauce and chorizo and lo and behold, a few clicks and a few minutes later an eager man with a bike helmet shows up to your door bearing good foods. Probably the best love any man can provide you. Only minutes later he’s on his way bearing the goods to someone else . But in all seriousness, these dudes are the best. First of all – kudos to them for being able to exercise on the job! Gee, if I could ride my bike all day I would hope to have some fantastic legs. These guys deserve ALL the tips. Seriously. I always try to stay clear of ordering Seamless on nights when the weather is absolute shit because I end up envisioning a delivery man falling off his bike after hitting a patch of snow/ice and then landing in a huge snow melt puddle but then carrying on to my door bleeding and cold and wet and being like, “Here is your delivery, I hope it’s still warm”, and then just feeling like a terrible human being for making Juan ride his bike all this way just because I needed food when I risked his safety and life. Needless to say, tip your dude well, because karma.
02. The guys that run bodegas/delis.
You’ve heard it here before. I love these guys. Just read my “Thank You Letter to My Local Bodega Man” and you’ll understand why. Okay, if you’re too lazy, the basic gist is like this: thanks for chatting me up/shooting the shit, the “I pity you” discounts, showing genuine concern and most of all – for generally not judging me. That last part especially is a hard thing to do in New York.
It’s your fucking fault it’s still cold as shit outside, Phil.
01. Meteorologists / weathermen.
These guys basically dictate my day and how it goes. They are the supreme being / God manifested basically. They decide what I wear – from my shirt, pants, sweaters, coat, jacket, socks, shoes, when I go outside, what I do for the rest of my day and by default – how I feel about my day. Have you ever gone outside without checking the weather? You leave for work and realize during your commute that it will be pouring rain and you neither have an umbrella nor waterproof shoes – while everyone around you seems to have gotten the memo from the weather man that today will indeed be a rain storm so bring your rain boots, galoshes, waterproof jackets, boats, what have you because its never going to stop raining so you’re shit out of luck. Day ruined.
Honorable mention: The people that run the MTA…. no, never mind…