Booze Slinging Bots: The End of the Bartender?

Mashable came out with a story chronicling how in South Africa at the upcoming OppiKoppi music festival, festival go-ers will be able to order beers on their phone, and have them delivered to them via drone. Via parachute. I am not shitting you. As explained in this video, there are plenty of problems that still need to be worked out here, like – the inaccuracy of the parachutes for one. Will I have to constantly fear being hit on the head by a beer bottle? What if someone snatches my beer mid air? Sidenote: Last year SF experimented with a Burrito Dropping Drone (amazing, right?). There’s a possibility that Americans may not have to be worried about being knocked out in the head by a parachuted beer, considering the FAA is still in the process of allowing drones to fly our airspace (who said drones had to have a negative connotation anyways). But bots and booze… who knew?

Enter BarBot. For a few years now, San Francisco, the mecca for tech nerds all over, have hosted BarBot. What it is is a two day “celebration of cocktail culture and man-machine interface. Get a drink from an actual robot. Chat up a snarky electronic bartender. And, after downing you sixth martini, you can finally admit that it’s the geeks who shall inherit the earth. Come hang out with some alternate life-forms at barBot!”

So imagine my surprise when I was perusing the latest Kickstarter campaigns and came across Bartendro – A Cocktail Dispensing Robot made by Party Robotics. Seriously? Geek the f*** out. A robot that you can have in the comfort of your own home that is your own bartender. Amazing. The convenience of being able to make drinks to the right proportion (AKA strong, in my case) is so dreamy its unbelievable. If you’re a tech nerd like me, the phrase ‘open source code’ might have you in awe as well. For the lay people out there, open source code means that the programmers and makers have posted the computer code they used to make this robot do its thing. This is really cool for multiple reasons. First and foremost, it gives others the opportunity to revamp, change up, or edit the code and make their own alcohol slinging robot. Obviously all of these robots are a work in progress and for what I know, not yet available to the consumer market.

But kinks aside, this brings up a very important question: If robots are delivering our booze, what happens to the bartender?

The infamous show Cheers, is about Boston bar regulars and bartenders who all congregate at a place “Where Everybody Knows Your Name”. Put a robot in the equation, and what happens to that sense of community? I’m not trying to get all nostalgic and corny on you guys, I promise. But I think we need to give the human bartender a little more credit than to replace them by a machine.

We all have our favorite bartenders, who may or may not know our name, our favorite drinks, the way we like them served up, etc (don’t judge me). Replace my favorite bartender with a robot, you’ll see me screaming at a piece of metal, “DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?!” It’s a terrifying future I’m picturing. Sometimes at the end of a long week, you just want to go to your spot, and have a friendly human interaction with a bartender, who lets you know that so long as they are there, and human, its okay to indulge and imbibe. Or maybe you just need a smile. Can you smile at me robot? I didn’t think so. Also, have you ever been to a really nice restaurant/lounge/high end bar and seen the finesse of these bartenders? I’m not talking physical finess (although that too), but I’m talking about the artful way they shake, stir, muddle, strain, build, layer and pour that liquid goodness.

Watch this video, because it makes me all warm inside.

That shake, is music to my lush ears.

What I’m saying is, while the world could do with robots in other places of our daily lives (like cleaning, etc), they have no place in any drinking establishment.

HOLD SACRED THY BARTENDER.

How You Know You Went to Notre Dame

Often times I try to tell people about my high school experience, yet words don’t really seem to do it justice. Most people really don’t understand.

Most people getting ready for school…
You getting ready for another day at NDB…

Making the greasy, doughy cookies from the kitchen a selling point to prospective students. SO GOOD!

When you start describing AQUACADES and realize its useless to even try.

How you think you look performing at AQUACADES…

How you really look at AQUACADES… 


When your class wins an event at AQUACADES


Birkenstocks were your shoes of choice, or moccasins… with socks. Pick your poison.

When a male between the age of 15-30 entered the school and EVERYONE knew.

When your entire group of friends are all on their period at the same time.

Walking into Tri School classes with Serra boys.

 

When you realize that if you’d known The Great Gatsby was going to be a movie with Leo, Carrie, and Toby, you would have make a bigger deal of the Gatsby Ball.


Not caring what you looked like / how weird you acted.

When you can ask in the middle of class, “Does anyone have a tampon I could borrow?”

Traffic on Ralston.

 

You left room for the Holy Spirit.

 

WAIT, a BOY?!

When you make up a rivalry with another all girls Catholic school and call it the CATFIGHT.

Dingbat day means something to you.

Dressing up as Fruit of the Loom was cool. Thanks to Angela Scherba '08 for the picture.

Dressing up as Fruit of the Loom was cool. Thanks to Angela Scherba ’08 for the picture.

When someone says the other neighboring Catholic school girls are better than you.

“Wait, you actually shaved your legs?”

Formal uniform made you feel like you were wearing a straight jacket.

LORENZO’S SANDWICHES!

When a Serra boy dated a Mercy girl.

 

You have to love that NDB sisterhood. 

M.T. Class of 2010

*all GIFs from Tumblr unless otherwise noted.

ICYMI: April Roundup

April generally sucks because its rainy and shit, and lets be honest, most people aren’t that forward thinking to see the bright side and wait for May flowers. But it’s a wrap for April, so let’s talk about it.

[via TheNewYorker]

[via TheNewYorker]

Mad Love For Boston: Tragedy has a weird way of bringing a nation together. What happened in Boston was terrible. I’m not an emotional person. Rarely do I express my emotions, have emotions, or tell people about my emotions. I’ve been likened to a robot and have commonly been called an ice queen because of my nature. But when tragedies like what happened at the Boston Marathon happen, I start to feel. However, what really gets me super emotional is my love of sports. I’ve expressed a plethora of emotions in my relationship with sports – I’ve cried, laughed, cried of happiness, cried of sadness, been angry, been unreasonably angry… you get the picture. To see sports teams show love for Boston was too much for me. The Yankees giving Boston love, “Sweet Caroline” played at Yankee stadium and Fenway thanks to Neil Diamond, the national anthem at the Bruins game… I was a mess.

Spring Has Sprung: A lot of you ladies get way too ahead of yourselves and come out hard in those summer dresses. Chill. Out. Same with you bros out there in your bro tanks and flip flops and Chubbies shorts. Calling you out. Nah, but I get it! Spring is here, the weathers great… time to spend some time in the park and catch some Vitamin D (which so many of us New Yorkers are deprived of). Get excited, you have permission to bare arms.

The Great Gatsby Music Soundtrack: My jaw dropped when The Great Gatsby released their tracklisting. How in the world do you put The xx, Beyonce, Lana Del Rey, Florence + the Machine, and Jack White (AKA my favorites ever) all together for a soundtrack? Only in a Baz Luhrmann movie, that is. Check this baby out:

  • “100$ Bill” – Jay-Z
  • “Back To Black” – Beyoncé x Andre 3000
  • “Bang Bang” – will.i.am
  • “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got)” – Fergie + Q Tip + GoonRock
  • “Young And Beautiful” – Lana Del Rey
  • “Love Is The Drug” – Bryan Ferry with The Bryan Ferry Orchestra
  • “Over The Love” – Florence + The Machine
  • “Where The Wind Blows” – Coco O. of Quadron
  • “Crazy in Love” – Emeli Sande and The Bryan Ferry Orchestra
  • “Together” – The xx
  • “Hearts A Mess” – Gotye
  • “Love Is Blindness” – Jack White
  • “Into the Past” – Nero
  • “Kill and Run” – Sia

Psycho Sorority Chick?: Everyone had a field day with this (you definitely need to read it if you haven’t yet). It’s pretty unclassy and of poor taste – but it doesn’t mean that all sorority girls are psycho and crazy or deranged. In fact, I think this chick is neither of these. First of all, I think this chick has valid points in her rant. While I’m no sorority girl, I understand her frustration with her friends / sisters who cannot hold a conversation, have to be drunk to talk to males, etc. I get it girl! Sometimes people need to be called out. The most important part of this is that she is an excellent writer. I’m not even joking and completely defend her writing skills and eloquence. Something must be said for the perfectly put cuss words, and the very detailed ass kicking that will follow if x doesn’t happen. The girl has an amazing way with words. You have to give her credit for that. Props to you girlfriend. You may not be a sister at DG at University of Maryland, but we can possibly be soul sisters.

Jason Collins: If you remotely know who I am, you know I’m a pretty avid sports fan. This week Jason Collins of the Washington Wizards came out and became the  first professional athlete playing a major American team sport, to come out as gay. This is incredible and I think it’ll open the doors to many other pro athletes and celebrities in the spotlight. The outpour of support that Collins has received ranging from NBA players like Kobe, LeBron, Jason Kidd to President Obama is very telling that our society is finally making progress in giving gays and lesbians the full equality that everyone deserves. We’re getting there ‘Merica.

Top Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:

  1. “kids annoy the shit out of me blog” – So someone searched this, and my website was a result? Is that the vibe I’m giving off? Good. 
  2. “san francisco giants bandwagon fans” – … are the worst. Am I right?
  3. “turn tights into turban” - Refer to this post, or learn from the one who taught me and watch this YouTube video by the lovely JasonSimone. You won’t regret it. 
  4. “neck pillow” - Are they actually comfortable? You tell me. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing one. 
  5. “maria spinning sound of music” – Yeah… I like that scene too. Julie Andrews is so effervescent I cannot.
  6. “what does #wearscrocs mean” -IT MEANS HE WEARS CROCS! AKA IT MEANS RUN… RUN FAR AWAY!
  7. “unclassy women” - Oh God. Someone searched unclassy women, and my website popped up. #HELP
  8. “can you get drunk off of skinny girl cosmo” - The answer is yes. Trust me. 
  9. “babysat kids with taped mouth” -Wait, what? Did you tape their mouths? I’m really curious here. Please email me the story behind this. 
  10. “men in baseball pants fuck” - I know, right? I die. 

Other notable things that happened in April:

-THIS HAPPENED. Frank Ocean fixed Jimmy Fallon’s bow tie while Justin Timberlake watched at the Time 100 gala. Amazing.

[via Vulture.com]

[via Vulture.com]

- Beyonce’s ad for H&M Summer 2013 came out, and we all swooned… and bowed down too, of course. There’s a lot of Bey rolling in the sand, and its nothing short of amazing.

What we can look forward to in May:

-The Met Gala is May 6 and is co hosted this year by Rooney Mara (girlcrush), Lauren Santo Domingo, Riccardo Tisci and Anna Wintour. The theme of the night will be punk… Anna and celebs like BEYONCE in PUNK wear?! I’m dying of excitement and anticipation. Expecting Sid Vicious realness from the men and I cannot wait.

-The Great Gatsby comes out May 10th. Leo, Carrie and Toby better give it to me straight.

-ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON 4 COMES OUT ON NETFLIX May 26th! That’s all that needs to be said about that.

The AD promo posters are beautiful. [via eonline]

 

Anyways…

[via tumblr]

How Netflix Has Changed Our Lives

Netflix’s Q1 results have shown solid and promising. And everyone is all of a sudden surprised by this? Seriously Forbes, if you took a second and looked around, you’d realize that pretty much 87% of Americans have a Netflix account – even if they’re using a friends’ account, and that of the typical American’s week, 13% of it is spent on Netflix. Just kidding, I made that all up, but it sounded absurdly true, right? Might as well be. What was life before Netflix? You’d lay in bed and what, turn on the TV, and what? Watch local news? Gross. Whether we like to admit it or not, Netflix is pretty damn life changing.

When Netflix has all 10 seasons of a TV show you want to watch…

[via tumblr]


Development of addictive personalities.

Due to Netflix have I developed an addictive personality. Actually, it may have started when at the end of my freshman year of college I decided to treat myself and buy a giant boxed set of every season, and movie of the Sex and the City franchise. I watched every single disc, movie, and episode within a week (that’s 94 episodes and 2 movies)… finals week might I add. Although I finished that semester on the Dean’s List, I found myself jonesing hardcore for the next episode, “OMG CARRIE CHEATED ON AIDAN WITH BIG? WHAT IS POSSIBLY GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!” (sorry for the spoiler there, I mean, if it was a spoiler for you, then you really need to step up your game … like 7 years ago). My point is, when you have all the episodes to a show right there, in your face – it’s hard not to get addicted.

When I tell my friends I’m staying in tonight because I’m exhausted… but really I’m going to finish Season 2 of Mad Men…

[via tumblr]

A go-to excuse.

I’ve actually said the phrase, “No I can’t go out tonight, I’m watching Netflix” out loud to a group of people I didn’t know that well. And you know what, I was completely shameless about saying it too. Sadly, I / we live in a world where thats disgustingly acceptable. Also, can you really justify a night out when you spend upwards of $30 on drinks when you can sit at home and watch Breaking Bad, fo free?!

When you realize you don’t need a significant other, so long as you have Netflix…

[via tumblr]


Instant companionship.

Goes back to using Netflix as an excuse. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a bed, delivery food, and a Netflix subscription. Honestly. Or in some relationships, Netflix is the common ground, the center of the relationship… it’s happened. And at the end of the day, when relationships end… Netflix will still remain. Oh god, that Netflix… so dependable, everything you could ever hope for.

When you realize the longest standing relationship you’ve had is with your Netflix account…

[via tumblr]

Full commitment.

Never have I spent a whole day with a person and not been annoyed. Okay, that’s a bit dramatic, but what I’m getting at is that sometimes we need our space. Netflix, on the other hand – I can spend multiple days with, and always want to come back for more. I want to be Netflix’s suffocating girlfriend. I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO SPEND EVERY WAKING SECOND WITH YOU! (not really, but you get the big idea, right?) I mean, Netflix always gives me more and more. Ever notice how when you finish an episode, Netflix knows to start the next episode in 20 seconds? That, right there my friends, is love. You got what I need baby.

Trying to escape your childhood…

[via tumblr]

Childhood flashbacks. 

I’m a huge fan of nostalgia. Actually, maybe not considering I just tried thinking of nostalgic foods, smells, images of my childhood but the only ones I could think of were associated with weird moments. Hmmm… The parts of my childhood that I do remember were the cartoons, movies and TV I watched. Recently, Netflix just penned a deal with Disney to distribute it’s old content. Amazing. Also added to that is Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon shows. Powerpuff Girls, SpongeBob SquarePants (who am I kidding, I’ve definitely seen an episode of this in the last year), Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and my ultimate favorite – Scooby Doo. Or maybe you simply just catch up on the childhood you never had. Either way, its nice to pretend your a kid again.

When Netflix announced the entire season 4 of Arrested Development will be released on May 26th…

[via tumblr]

Instant gratification.

Instant gratification is my middle name. I want it, and I want it now. Netflix rolled out all 13 episodes of House of Cards February 1st, which was game changing in the eyes of media makers. This is fantastic, because now media companies are thinking of following suit. Think about it this way… if you’re anything like me, you finished the entire first season of House of Cards by mid February. If it were to follow the traditional release schedule, this week, we’d be watching the final episode of the Kevin Spacey drama. Amazing? Absolutely. Now Netflix is releasing THE WHOLE ENTIRE SEASON 4 of Arrested Development on May 26th. Thank God I’ll be done with finals at this point. You’re all mine that week Netflix, just you, me, and the never nudes.

Media game changer.

Some people are super low key about what Netflix has done to the media world. HBO/Showtime are all like, “Oh its cool but like its not that awesome, Netflix will never be us srry”, and Viacom/Timewarner etc. are all like “Whatevs, everyone loves us big conglomerates, bow down”, while others are like “OMG Netflix is changing the game forevs!”… clearly I belong to the latter, just without as much enthusiasm. Honestly though, Netflix has changed our viewing practices, the way we see TV programming, and quite possibly, the way TV producers might make their content.

Sometimes Netflix is annoying / a nuisance. You get twitchy eyes from looking at your computer for extended periods of time. Or, after watching half a season of a show you realize you’ve done nothing with your life for the past 5 hours. Or maybe after an hour of scrolling through movies and TV shows, you realize your an indecisive sonofab**** and cannot pick something to watch for the life of you and that in itself is worrisome and annoying. Yeah, just blame it on Netflix. The fact of the matter is, so long as we crave entertainment, company, nostalgic things, Netflix will always have our back.

SF Giants = GQ Boys

I’ve always been under the impression that my San Francisco Giants are of the most attractive bunch in Major League Baseball. This has only been confirmed as two of my team favorites have been featured in April’s edition of GQ. Buster Posey in SWEATPANTS? Zito in McQueen?! Swoon.

Oy.

Oy.

Anyways, you’re welcome. 

Barry zito GQ

Be still my heart [via GQ]

Barry Zito:
Golden Bear Sportswear Jacket, $637;
Alexander Wang T Shirt, $76;
Unis Pants, $198;
Puma x Alexander McQueen Sneakers;

Buster Posey GQ

Oh my. [via GQ]

Buster Posey:
Banana Republic Jacket, $150;
Merz b. Schwanen Henley, $100;
Michael Bastian Sweatpants, $325;
Sandro Sneakers, $475;
TAG Heuer Watch;

See the complete slideshow with other guys like, Brandon Phillips, Chase Headley, Andre Ethier and Jake Peavy here.
I always knew these faces were GQ worthy. Sorry Dodgers, I only see Ethier in there… maybe money can’t buy you class.