We were all MAD about March. Here’s what I, MADeleine thought was MAD cool about March… see what I did there?
I don’t think anyone makes a bracket and is like, “WOW my bracket is doing so well! Great picks, me!”… like, ever. What’s great about NCAA March Madness is it’s both predictable and has a few exciting story lines in there too. Like Florida Gulf Coast University. Who woulda thought? Harvard had their short lived moment too. Maybe you had Ohio State University going to the ‘ship because youre in love with Aaron Craft. No? Oh. Speaking of basketball, and Dunk City… this month a monumental dunk happened. DeAndre Jordan of the LA Clippers completely owned Brandon Knight while dunking on him. Calling it now – dunk of the year.
So everyone’s always been on edge with North Korea. They’re like your senile grandpa who sits at the family dinner quietly, but if something goes wrong or upsets him, the shit hits the fan. Between being critical of the late Kim Jong-il’s relationship with neighboring countries and the USA, to his inspiring fashion statements – sunglasses 24/7 + neutral collared jacket oh yes, we (as in Americans) have always been in a weird place with North Korea. Then, this month, Dennis Rodman decides to hang out with Kim Jong Un and since then, the two have since developed quite the bromance (Rodman claims he’s vacationing with Jong Un in August). This is no different than a Mean Girls-esque situation, and someone needs to tell Rodman that North Korea and the USA are giving eachother the silent treatment and “YOU CAN’T HANG OUT WITH HIM! YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR FRIEND!” WTF Rodman, does nuclear war mean ANYTHING to you?!
AT&Ts Commercial Game:
If there’s one thing I am absolutely in love with on TV right now it’s Beck Bennett, the guy in all of AT&T’s commercials as of late. The dry humor, a man with kids… swoon. More importantly, these commercials are GENIUS. AT&T is killing the commercial game right now. They’re topping the list of the top 10 Social TV Commercials… something that some advertisers only dream of doing. The kids are cute, the shit they say is priceless (have you seen the Nicky Flash one?), and while maybe you don’t care about what AT&T has to offer, you’re definitely going to talk about it with your friends or Tweet about it… I know I have on multiple times. This month (last week actually) AT&T pulled out all the stops during March Madness and aired a commercial with Bennett’s adorable straight faced humor, but the cute racially diverse, sassy, talkative children, were replaced by basketball greats like Bill Russell, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Larry Bird. Amazing. AT&T is seriously killing it. Their commercials are almost entertaining enough to makeup for the shitty service I get out here.GIRLS Season 2 Finale:
This season was a flop. Yeah, you read that right. I’m a huge fan of Lena Dunham. Seriously, I love her. I get her sense of humor, I encourage her excessive nudity, and I like her IDGAF attitude. I loved GIRLS season 1. I loved Hannah – she’s quirky, a writer, confident, and hilarious. Jessa is a badass bohemian, Shoshanna is a anxiety-filled JAP, and Marnie is a stuck up, self centered, wanna-be yuppie. All characters we can identify with, I’m sure. In terms of relationships, all of the girls showed in their own ways that, although an integral part of their lives, men weren’t a necessary addition. However, this season, they all seemed so dependent on men – something that really turned me off on this. Whether it was Shoshanna & Ray, Hannah & Adam, Jessa and her daddy problems, and Marnie & Jonathan/Charlie. It was unbecoming. A very unbecoming trait of you GIRLS.
Jon Hamm’s Ham:
Mad Men Season 6 premiers this Sunday. If youre a female (or homosexual male for that matter) you’re excited to see Don Draper in a suit every Sunday night. I know I’ve missed that in my life. However, people have been onto Jon Hamm lately for a little more than just his suit-wearing, whiskey-drinking perfection of DD. This month the media has been in a frenzy over pictures of Jon Hamm’s rather large package. People are freaking out. Clearly the public cannot handle the sexiness that is Jon Hamm. Hamm, on the other hand is not basking in the glory, but instead is pretty fucking pissed off, ”They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason,” he says. “I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal … But whatever. I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite”. Yeah Jon Ham.. it is much better. #WWDDD (WhatWouldDonDraperDo)
Top Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:
- “#questionablesearchhistory” The fact that someone is googling this says plenty to their character.
- “#integritychallenged” Really, don’t read too into LuLu, guys.
- “brian wilson beard”
- “20 shameful things”
- “ok glass dorks” LOL. I’m picturing some asshole interrupting Google developers and being like, “OK, glass dorks..”
- “take yourself off of lulu app” There’s a way I’m sure, but maybe you should consider a few other things to work on.
- “jennifer lawrence says fuck” She does. I’m wondering if the searcher wanted a video of J Law saying the expletive, or they wanted to know how many times, or… what?
- “what does trustfund baby mean” It means that if youre asking this then your parents are filthy rich and you’ve never had to worry about being paid on time. Probably.
- “how to tie a turban”
- “feet fetish shoe department” I know right?
Other notable things that happened in March:
-So like Tilda Swinton slept in a glass box at the MOMA for an exhibition and we all instagrammed it and thought it was artsy. No. As Sarah Lakshmi says, “It is a sad day for art when some random British actress can sleep in a museum and all the homeless people have to sleep outside”. True that sistahfriend.
-This really shouldn’t be newsworthy and the whole Lindsay Lohan thing is so overdone and excessive, but I must say, she’s not at the top of the list on my classy chart, but the woman did put herself together pretty well for her court date wearing a sheer pants and top from 3.1 Phillip Lim. She did good. In other trashy celebrity news this month, Amanda Bynes has officially gone crazy chick.
What we can look forward to in April:
As I said before, Don Draper is gracing our lives again every Sunday starting this weekend. Mad Men. Baseball is back! If that’s not enough for you, the movie on Jackie Robinson, 42, comes out April 12th. Also, 4/20 is this month so naturally we’re all celebrating… Earth Day. Right?
So I’m a week late on this, but who cares! I present to you, The 2013 Oscars Fashion Wrap Up with my good friend, Lindsey! (Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @lindseypsolomon)!
It’s awards season! Quite possibly one of my favorite times of the year. Celebrities, dresses, designers, red carpets, etc. But red carpet drama / award night drama is for another post (TBD). Its a magical and wonderful time! If you look past the beautiful dresses, celebrities, Oscar snubs, and WTF WHY IS TAYLOR SWIFT THERE?, then you remember that the movies are the real reason for these shenanigans.
5. The movie you wish was around when you were learning American History in middle school: LINCOLN
Obviously if you remotely remember anything you learned in you preparatory years of schooling and American history, you know the basic plot line of this. Lincoln was so more than a tall ass dude that wore big hats and freed the slaves. He had to deal with Sally Fields’ constant nagging, and having Joseph Gordon Levitt as a beautiful son that they didn’t want to lose. Also, did you catch the parallel of the US House of Reps then vs. now? Yeah, theyre still a bunch of quibbling, old, idiots who don’t get shit done.
4. The movie that stunned Hollywood and showed people that actors can act… and kind of sing too: LES MISERABLES
Tears. Thats what I emitted from my eyes after Anne Hathaway’s “I Dream a Dream”. I’m not an emotional person, but this did it for me (Let it be said that by for some freaky reason, the only other movie I cried in was Ladder 49… Such manly emotions from Joaquin Phoenix and John Travolta. I couldn’t handle it). People will bitch and moan about how Hugh Jackman and Russel Crowe etc. can’t sing. But if youre a real Les Mis fan, you were just ecstatic to see this in movie form. Oh, and Eddie Redmayne was easy on the eyes too.
3. The movie that showed me my inner sassy spirit animal: BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
THIS CHICK! What’s her name? Zkjasnuqi Wldsafue? Kidding. Quvenzhane Wallis is like a nine year old girl, wearing her big girl/sassy pants who KILLS IT in this movie. This movie was super indie, which is probably why I loved it so much. Its an amazing story line that revolves around the balancing of the universe as seen through Hushpuppy and the southern delta community she lives in.
2. The movie that made Americans go “DA FUQ?! That happened?!”: ARGO
1980s style fashion, clandestine operations, and an amazing cast including John Goodman and Alan Arkin. Ben Affleck obviously needed to redeem himself after his JLo period (read: failed marriage and failed movie Gigli). Boston Ben did WERQ in this movie! It was amazing… historical, educational, great cast, and all of that shit that the CIA didn’t want you to know about. Speaking of which…
1. The movie that was the most stressful 2hr37min you ever experienced whilst clenching every muscle of your body including your butt cheeks: ZERO DARK THIRTY
Seriously OBSESSED with anything CIA related. Honestly would consider being in the CIA… but that would require being recruited, being smart, knowing like umpteen foreign languages, not being afraid of guns, and being extremely smart. All of which aren’t my thang. But like I’ve said, clandestine operations (conspiracy theories, political secrets, etc.) give me a lady boner. Throw in a mission executed brawny Navy Seals (of which included Taylor Kinney, I died), and the amazing Jessica Chastain as the gutsy, sassy, heroine, and I’m sufficiently satisfied. It also helped that Kathryn Bigelow directed another one of my favorites, Hurt Locker, so obviously I was bound to be in love with this movie. GO SEE IT! IT’S YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY.
*Sadly I didn’t see Silver Linings Playbook yet, thus cannot attest to its greatness. But I’m positively sure it belongs on this list too.
My TOP 5 Dresses of the MET Costume Gala 2012
5) As I’ve mentioned in this blog before, I’m absolutely in love, in lust, however you put it, with MadMen’s Jessica Pare. Absolute girl crush. So you can imagine my excitement whist sitting in front of my computer watching the Met Gala livestream via Vogue.com when Jessica Pare appeared in this stunning dress. And I mean stunning. She is flawless. I don’t care what people say, I love her and always will. She is so lovely.
4) Although I’m not particularly a January Jones fan, especially not now on MadMen (oh hey Fat Betty), I must say, this was a nice look for her. She’s typically super edgy with her style choices, but this one bordered the line just perfectly.
3) I don’t think there has ever been a red carpet – or ANY – look on Camilla Belle that I haven’t adored. I love this girl so much… she is so perfect. She turned up the vamp with this simple, yet elegantly sexy and classy dress. Its a crime of how gorgeous she is.
4) Literally glowing with her post-wedding jitters, Carey Mulligan’s first public appearance since her marriage to Marcus Mumford was in this splendidly sparkling dress. It fits her, and her personality so well. She is too adorable for words. If anyone says her dress is ombre, I will, in fact, slap you.
1) My number one look of the night goes to Chloe Sevigny. The theme seemed to be reflective surfaces, as seen on Pare and Mulligan, and again echoed on Sevigny’s Prada number with mirrors. I love this. Although she may have completely disturbed me in her appearance in Law and Order: SVU a few weeks ago, I love this dress to pieces.