Tagged: february
ICYMI: February Roundup
A lot happened in February. But I guess a lot happens every month. In case you missed it, I’ve gathered, what I think are, the notable happenings of this past month.
Facebook Graph Search:
Sure, this was announced in January, but I’m just starting to wrap my head around this. It can be A) really cool, or B) really creepy. Let’s start with the really cool part. You can use this to network, or research your friends. As a writer, I could definitely see myself using this to research friends/friends of friends with certain qualifications, in a specific location, working at a specific company, with interests a, b, and c. Say I wanted to write an article about startups in San Francisco and wanted to interview an employee of a startup who is a straight, heterosexual, male who likes surfing, mexican food and likes to listen to Allen Stone. Voila – Facebook Graph search has that covered (well that and there’s most of San Francisco’s population anyways). Now lets discuss the creepiness. This is the stalkers tool. You can streamline your search to be as specific as possible. More importantly, this is some serious data mining and getting into your bizness. More and more we’re starting to realize how much of our personal information is out there from our social media accounts. Remember those pictures from your freshman year of high school, or that really bad night you had in Vegas (yeah, THAT night)? Sadly, what we put onto Facebook and on the interwebz is most likely going to stick forever (I mean, at least until youre dead probably). Luckily, there are a crap load of great companies like McAfee who have apps, just for Facebook that prevents people from seeing, downloading, sharing, and printing unwanted photos of yours (WHAT NOW CATFISHERS?! TRY TO PRETEND TO BE ME ON MYSPACE I DARE YOU!). Check it out, totally useful and totally free! But in all seriousness, that one page you Liked a year ago, will probably come back and bite you in the ass. So there’s that. I guess you could also use Facebook Graph Search for your own personal dating service as well – which borders on the line of either really cool and/or really creepy. Search: male, 24-30, NYC, employed, TV Shows: Law and Order, Law and Order SVU.. can I specify ‘attractive’? Questions. Anyways Facebook, I’m waiting for my access here.
House of Cards:
David Fincher directed The Social Network, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Justin Timberlake’s “Suit and Tie” music video (did you watch it? You should), and this gem Netflix produced called House of Cards. You might not have heard of it, but it is, in my humble opinion, an amazing show, worthy of HBO/Showtime. Why its noteworthy: what Netflix did with this show is freaking out the big media companies. They released the whole season (13 episodes) all at once. If other companies follow suit, this may change TV viewer practices as we know it. Media corporations got their panties in a bunch for a bit, but realized, at the end of the day, viewers will always tune in for programmed television. I don’t know. I think we should keep an eye out for this format Netflix has going on… Also, the cast of this show is kickass – Corey Stoll (the dude who played Ernest Hemmingway in Midnight in Paris), Kate Mara, and Kevin fucking Spacey. For politics junkies, like me, this is a dream. For people with addictive personalities and have nothing else better to do than watch 13 straight episodes in one sitting – this is your jam. Watch it. You won’t be sorry either way.
If that isn’t a good looking cast, then I don’t know what is. [img via abcnews.com]
As my Digital Literacy professor said, “if people want a social network where they can film their dick for hours on end, then have at it”. Vine is a great concept. Essentially, its Instagram for videoclips. I like the idea of it, the app is very user friendly and intuitive. But pretty sure the creators of Vine didn’t see their app being used as a porn channel. I seriously question our species sometimes. But its actually a good app. For those of you who are done with Instagram and already onto the next, then youre already taking short video clips and looping them like a GIF on Vine and waiting for Likes to come your way. During NYFW Vine was particularly useful in that I could watch short loops of the runway – over and over again – incase I missed something. If you really want to be quirky, you can post your Vine made resume and see where that goes. Watch it here. Ugh. I loathe the fact that I didn’t think of this first.
JLaw, my self-deprecating sistah, IS THAT YOU?! [img via fashionmagazine.com]
February was a big month for the Royal Family. And by Royal Family I don’t mean the monarchy of the United Kingdom… I mean the Royal Family as in Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Blue Ivy. Beyonce straight up killed it at the Superbowl – it even eased the pain when the Niners lost. Her HBO documentary aired, and she’s on top of the fucking world, thanks to the Illuminati. As for Jay-Z, a Grammy award, a legitimate collaboration with Justin Timberlake, and his Nets are doing okay. 2013 is the Royal Family’s year. Calling it now.
Jennifer Lawerence:
She had her Miss Dior campaign in which she looked ah-mazing in. She starred alongside Bradley Cooper. Hugh Jackman swooped down to help her when she fell at the Oscars. She had cute, casual balter with Jack Nicholson. She won an Oscar. She beat Meryl. All of that, and at the end of the day all she wants to do is ”sit on my couch and drink and not change my pants for days at a time”. How is J Law NOT winning?
Top Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:
- “valentines day? who cares” Right? I’m right there with you.
- “postfeminist television”
- “brian wilson beard”
- “great analogies for classy people versus unclassy” Serious question: Did this person find any great analogies? I want to know.
- “les miserables”
- “the real angelica from rugrats” Is she based off of a real person? If so she’d be like 27 years old right now.
- “fainting after drinking ballerina tea” Wow. Ummm… no that is not an after-effect.
- “sexy frida kahlo” IS THIS A THING?! SOMEONE TELL ME!
- “my birkenstock” No. MYY Birkenstock! Sidenote: I miss wearing my Birkenstocks with socks all the time.
- “quvenzhane wallis too sassy for her age mouthy” For real. Girl’s got a mouth on her. I like it.
Other notable things that happened in February:-
-Harlem Shook. And no one cared. I mean, we pretended it was cool and relevant for 5 minutes. And then we didn’t. I don’t want to see your dog do the Harlem Shake.
-Huffington Post said that kitten heels are in. NO! Don’t listen to them, you women who get your fashion advice from HuffPo.
What we can look forward to in March:
GAME OF THRONES. Anyone want to have a GOT marathon until March 31st?
Who Cares About Valentines Day Anyways?
I’d rather eat 5 packets of Equal sugar before I eat these. [img via: flickr]
Remember when you were younger and if you were going to celebrate Valentines Day it was necessary you brought treats for everyone? Maybe you even painstakingly wrote each of your classmates’ names on your Necco Sweetheart boxes or Strawberry FunDip packages. Or, maybe you were super cool (like I was, of course), and made your own valentines for your class of 30, and taped a piece of candy. I actually liked when Februrary 14th rolled around back then. YES! I get shit tons of candy! It was like Halloween, except not. Then it was fun and everyone loved everyone! YOU BETTER FUCKING LOVE EVERYONE, OR ELSE. Now, I, probably like most of you, dread February 14th because A) we hate being reminded how seriously single we are, B) its a pointless day, or C) pink and red together are disgusting.
Not embarrassing at all.
Last year my boyfriend at the time sent me something through the mail. At the time, living in a college dorm of 950 NYU kids, I was notified I had a package downstairs on V-Day (V as in you need a Valium to get through the day) which I slumped downstairs to retrieve and sign for. Note: Even though I had a boyfriend, I still loathed the idea of celebrating Valentines Day, and always will. I went downstairs, signed for my package, and to my disgust, what emerged from the mailroom was a 6foot tall cardboard box which was really awkward for the person to hand off to me. As I grabbed the unweidly large box, the person said, “Wow, you’re so lucky”. But was I? No. I was mortified to carry this large monstrosity of a package back to my apartment on the 10th floor while passing tons of students who knew what was up. I didn’t even open the damn thing when I angrily texted the significant other at the time how angry I was that I was to carry the huge thing around and how much I hate Valentines Day (Don’t worry, there was a ‘thank you’ in there too). So what was in the large fucking box? 3 dozen roses, and a big f****** stuffed bear. Roses: cute. Bear: not so cute. Sure, you get your 5th grade girlfriend a big bear… but not your college aged girlfriend. Especially when you supposedly are 25 years old. Not okay. Chalk it up to a fail (whatever, call me high maintenance or whatever, but I would rather have not celebrated VDay at all). Now this year, I already have plans of getting drunk, disregarding the date, and possibly even going to a shooting range on February 15th (we will see about that – my friend’s brilliant idea, but I’m not sure I can actually follow through).
So whats the deal? I’m not here to examine my Valentines Days of the past. I’m also not here to be a bitter bitch and condemn the Hallmark holiday either. However, I am saying we do away completely with any significance we have of February 14th and this so called Valentines Day. It’s repulsive.
[img via: jerryssandwiches.com]
- I don’t want another day to remind myself how singularly single I am. I am constantly aware. This is a day that is totally discriminatory! COUPLES ONLY! Don’t you dare even try to eat out on Feb 14th by yourself (unless you’re totally into masochism), or even with a friend NO I DO NOT WANT THE MOTHERFUCKING COUPLES PRE FIXE MENU GODDAMMIT. Where’s the holiday celebrating single people?!
- If you’re in a relationship you already have a day to celebrate your relationship – its called your anni-fucking-versary. Get. It. Together. Also, its kind of a cop out that its only one day you guys are truly in love and show you care and blah blah… you should be doing that shit all the time.
- Valentines Day makes you fat. So many chocolates and candies… and cute cupcake specials and desserts. I’m a sucker for cute sweets. Also, after Valentines Day theres clearancecandy (also follows Halloween and Christmas). Discount candy is irresistible. Even if it does have hearts and cupids all over it. It also makes you fat because if you’re single you might be one of those people who eats their feelings… or drinks your feelings (like me). Racking up them calories!
I get it. You were a martyr. But that’s no reason why single people should be tortured once a year. [img via: whollyroamincatholic.com]
- People feel awkward about meeting new people / making connections on February 14. Oh shit, he probably thinks I’m desperate or something, it IS Valentines Day. It shouldn’t be that way. You shouldn’t give a flying fuck about when you’re setting up dates / meeting new people. (Although one time I accidentally scheduled a first date on Halloween night and didn’t realize it until I had been confronted by a witch, Superman, goblins, and a slutty fairy on my way to the restaurant. At least I looked normal on my date compared to the freaks around us).
- Technically, Valentines Day is Saint Valentines Day. St. Valentine lived in the Middle Ages as one of the first Roman martyrs. He was imprisoned and tortured in Rome on February 14, 273. Someone please explain to me: what about that screams romance and love? Clearly it sounds like a set up to torture single people all over.
- Again, pink and red are really ugly colors together.
But in all seriousness, Happy Valentines Day y’all. I love all you readers, for real (just don’t tell anyone I’m capable of that type of emotion). May your day be oozing with love! and the excitement that you might get laid tonight.
