We were all MAD about March. Here’s what I, MADeleine thought was MAD cool about March… see what I did there?
I don’t think anyone makes a bracket and is like, “WOW my bracket is doing so well! Great picks, me!”… like, ever. What’s great about NCAA March Madness is it’s both predictable and has a few exciting story lines in there too. Like Florida Gulf Coast University. Who woulda thought? Harvard had their short lived moment too. Maybe you had Ohio State University going to the ‘ship because youre in love with Aaron Craft. No? Oh. Speaking of basketball, and Dunk City… this month a monumental dunk happened. DeAndre Jordan of the LA Clippers completely owned Brandon Knight while dunking on him. Calling it now – dunk of the year.
So everyone’s always been on edge with North Korea. They’re like your senile grandpa who sits at the family dinner quietly, but if something goes wrong or upsets him, the shit hits the fan. Between being critical of the late Kim Jong-il’s relationship with neighboring countries and the USA, to his inspiring fashion statements – sunglasses 24/7 + neutral collared jacket oh yes, we (as in Americans) have always been in a weird place with North Korea. Then, this month, Dennis Rodman decides to hang out with Kim Jong Un and since then, the two have since developed quite the bromance (Rodman claims he’s vacationing with Jong Un in August). This is no different than a Mean Girls-esque situation, and someone needs to tell Rodman that North Korea and the USA are giving eachother the silent treatment and “YOU CAN’T HANG OUT WITH HIM! YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR FRIEND!” WTF Rodman, does nuclear war mean ANYTHING to you?!
AT&Ts Commercial Game:
If there’s one thing I am absolutely in love with on TV right now it’s Beck Bennett, the guy in all of AT&T’s commercials as of late. The dry humor, a man with kids… swoon. More importantly, these commercials are GENIUS. AT&T is killing the commercial game right now. They’re topping the list of the top 10 Social TV Commercials… something that some advertisers only dream of doing. The kids are cute, the shit they say is priceless (have you seen the Nicky Flash one?), and while maybe you don’t care about what AT&T has to offer, you’re definitely going to talk about it with your friends or Tweet about it… I know I have on multiple times. This month (last week actually) AT&T pulled out all the stops during March Madness and aired a commercial with Bennett’s adorable straight faced humor, but the cute racially diverse, sassy, talkative children, were replaced by basketball greats like Bill Russell, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Larry Bird. Amazing. AT&T is seriously killing it. Their commercials are almost entertaining enough to makeup for the shitty service I get out here.GIRLS Season 2 Finale:
This season was a flop. Yeah, you read that right. I’m a huge fan of Lena Dunham. Seriously, I love her. I get her sense of humor, I encourage her excessive nudity, and I like her IDGAF attitude. I loved GIRLS season 1. I loved Hannah – she’s quirky, a writer, confident, and hilarious. Jessa is a badass bohemian, Shoshanna is a anxiety-filled JAP, and Marnie is a stuck up, self centered, wanna-be yuppie. All characters we can identify with, I’m sure. In terms of relationships, all of the girls showed in their own ways that, although an integral part of their lives, men weren’t a necessary addition. However, this season, they all seemed so dependent on men – something that really turned me off on this. Whether it was Shoshanna & Ray, Hannah & Adam, Jessa and her daddy problems, and Marnie & Jonathan/Charlie. It was unbecoming. A very unbecoming trait of you GIRLS.
Jon Hamm’s Ham:
Mad Men Season 6 premiers this Sunday. If youre a female (or homosexual male for that matter) you’re excited to see Don Draper in a suit every Sunday night. I know I’ve missed that in my life. However, people have been onto Jon Hamm lately for a little more than just his suit-wearing, whiskey-drinking perfection of DD. This month the media has been in a frenzy over pictures of Jon Hamm’s rather large package. People are freaking out. Clearly the public cannot handle the sexiness that is Jon Hamm. Hamm, on the other hand is not basking in the glory, but instead is pretty fucking pissed off, ”They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason,” he says. “I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal … But whatever. I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite”. Yeah Jon Ham.. it is much better. #WWDDD (WhatWouldDonDraperDo)
Top Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:
- “#questionablesearchhistory” The fact that someone is googling this says plenty to their character.
- “#integritychallenged” Really, don’t read too into LuLu, guys.
- “brian wilson beard”
- “20 shameful things”
- “ok glass dorks” LOL. I’m picturing some asshole interrupting Google developers and being like, “OK, glass dorks..”
- “take yourself off of lulu app” There’s a way I’m sure, but maybe you should consider a few other things to work on.
- “jennifer lawrence says fuck” She does. I’m wondering if the searcher wanted a video of J Law saying the expletive, or they wanted to know how many times, or… what?
- “what does trustfund baby mean” It means that if youre asking this then your parents are filthy rich and you’ve never had to worry about being paid on time. Probably.
- “how to tie a turban”
- “feet fetish shoe department” I know right?
Other notable things that happened in March:
-So like Tilda Swinton slept in a glass box at the MOMA for an exhibition and we all instagrammed it and thought it was artsy. No. As Sarah Lakshmi says, “It is a sad day for art when some random British actress can sleep in a museum and all the homeless people have to sleep outside”. True that sistahfriend.
-This really shouldn’t be newsworthy and the whole Lindsay Lohan thing is so overdone and excessive, but I must say, she’s not at the top of the list on my classy chart, but the woman did put herself together pretty well for her court date wearing a sheer pants and top from 3.1 Phillip Lim. She did good. In other trashy celebrity news this month, Amanda Bynes has officially gone crazy chick.
What we can look forward to in April:
As I said before, Don Draper is gracing our lives again every Sunday starting this weekend. Mad Men. Baseball is back! If that’s not enough for you, the movie on Jackie Robinson, 42, comes out April 12th. Also, 4/20 is this month so naturally we’re all celebrating… Earth Day. Right?
A lot happened in February. But I guess a lot happens every month. In case you missed it, I’ve gathered, what I think are, the notable happenings of this past month.
Facebook Graph Search:
Sure, this was announced in January, but I’m just starting to wrap my head around this. It can be A) really cool, or B) really creepy. Let’s start with the really cool part. You can use this to network, or research your friends. As a writer, I could definitely see myself using this to research friends/friends of friends with certain qualifications, in a specific location, working at a specific company, with interests a, b, and c. Say I wanted to write an article about startups in San Francisco and wanted to interview an employee of a startup who is a straight, heterosexual, male who likes surfing, mexican food and likes to listen to Allen Stone. Voila – Facebook Graph search has that covered (well that and there’s most of San Francisco’s population anyways). Now lets discuss the creepiness. This is the stalkers tool. You can streamline your search to be as specific as possible. More importantly, this is some serious data mining and getting into your bizness. More and more we’re starting to realize how much of our personal information is out there from our social media accounts. Remember those pictures from your freshman year of high school, or that really bad night you had in Vegas (yeah, THAT night)? Sadly, what we put onto Facebook and on the interwebz is most likely going to stick forever (I mean, at least until youre dead probably). Luckily, there are a crap load of great companies like McAfee who have apps, just for Facebook that prevents people from seeing, downloading, sharing, and printing unwanted photos of yours (WHAT NOW CATFISHERS?! TRY TO PRETEND TO BE ME ON MYSPACE I DARE YOU!). Check it out, totally useful and totally free! But in all seriousness, that one page you Liked a year ago, will probably come back and bite you in the ass. So there’s that. I guess you could also use Facebook Graph Search for your own personal dating service as well – which borders on the line of either really cool and/or really creepy. Search: male, 24-30, NYC, employed, TV Shows: Law and Order, Law and Order SVU.. can I specify ‘attractive’? Questions. Anyways Facebook, I’m waiting for my access here.
House of Cards:
David Fincher directed The Social Network, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Justin Timberlake’s “Suit and Tie” music video (did you watch it? You should), and this gem Netflix produced called House of Cards. You might not have heard of it, but it is, in my humble opinion, an amazing show, worthy of HBO/Showtime. Why its noteworthy: what Netflix did with this show is freaking out the big media companies. They released the whole season (13 episodes) all at once. If other companies follow suit, this may change TV viewer practices as we know it. Media corporations got their panties in a bunch for a bit, but realized, at the end of the day, viewers will always tune in for programmed television. I don’t know. I think we should keep an eye out for this format Netflix has going on… Also, the cast of this show is kickass – Corey Stoll (the dude who played Ernest Hemmingway in Midnight in Paris), Kate Mara, and Kevin fucking Spacey. For politics junkies, like me, this is a dream. For people with addictive personalities and have nothing else better to do than watch 13 straight episodes in one sitting – this is your jam. Watch it. You won’t be sorry either way.Vine:
As my Digital Literacy professor said, “if people want a social network where they can film their dick for hours on end, then have at it”. Vine is a great concept. Essentially, its Instagram for videoclips. I like the idea of it, the app is very user friendly and intuitive. But pretty sure the creators of Vine didn’t see their app being used as a porn channel. I seriously question our species sometimes. But its actually a good app. For those of you who are done with Instagram and already onto the next, then youre already taking short video clips and looping them like a GIF on Vine and waiting for Likes to come your way. During NYFW Vine was particularly useful in that I could watch short loops of the runway – over and over again – incase I missed something. If you really want to be quirky, you can post your Vine made resume and see where that goes. Watch it here. Ugh. I loathe the fact that I didn’t think of this first.Beyonce:
February was a big month for the Royal Family. And by Royal Family I don’t mean the monarchy of the United Kingdom… I mean the Royal Family as in Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Blue Ivy. Beyonce straight up killed it at the Superbowl – it even eased the pain when the Niners lost. Her HBO documentary aired, and she’s on top of the fucking world, thanks to the Illuminati. As for Jay-Z, a Grammy award, a legitimate collaboration with Justin Timberlake, and his Nets are doing okay. 2013 is the Royal Family’s year. Calling it now.
She had her Miss Dior campaign in which she looked ah-mazing in. She starred alongside Bradley Cooper. Hugh Jackman swooped down to help her when she fell at the Oscars. She had cute, casual balter with Jack Nicholson. She won an Oscar. She beat Meryl. All of that, and at the end of the day all she wants to do is ”sit on my couch and drink and not change my pants for days at a time”. How is J Law NOT winning?
Top Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:
- “valentines day? who cares” Right? I’m right there with you.
- “postfeminist television”
- “brian wilson beard”
- “great analogies for classy people versus unclassy” Serious question: Did this person find any great analogies? I want to know.
- “les miserables”
- “the real angelica from rugrats” Is she based off of a real person? If so she’d be like 27 years old right now.
- “fainting after drinking ballerina tea” Wow. Ummm… no that is not an after-effect.
- “sexy frida kahlo” IS THIS A THING?! SOMEONE TELL ME!
- “my birkenstock” No. MYY Birkenstock! Sidenote: I miss wearing my Birkenstocks with socks all the time.
- “quvenzhane wallis too sassy for her age mouthy” For real. Girl’s got a mouth on her. I like it.
Other notable things that happened in February:-
-Harlem Shook. And no one cared. I mean, we pretended it was cool and relevant for 5 minutes. And then we didn’t. I don’t want to see your dog do the Harlem Shake.
-Huffington Post said that kitten heels are in. NO! Don’t listen to them, you women who get your fashion advice from HuffPo.
What we can look forward to in March:
GAME OF THRONES. Anyone want to have a GOT marathon until March 31st?