The day had finally come. M rolled over in bed to look out the window. She sighed. It was grey and cloudy outside and rain was looming over the city. Typical. She rolled her eyes and flopped back onto her pillow. Closing her eyes she thought, by tonight I will be back with California, as she reminisced over the sun filled, happy days they spent together. California was warm, optimistic and always welcomed her back with its warm embrace. California was safe.
As she started to get out of bed she watched New York in its peaceful slumber. New York on the other hand was cold, and made her both confused and excited at the same time. New York showed her highs and the depths of her lows. Just like the LCD Soundsystem song,
New York I Love You, But You’re Bringing Me Down
The unpredictable part of New York was something M both loved and hated about it. California, on the other hand, was always there… Dependable. It wasn’t to say that she took California for granted. Absolutely not. When New York showed her its worse with its bipolar weather and exhausting her day after day, M longed to be back in the warm embrace of California. It was natural. After all, she had been with California for most of her life. She knew California like the back of her hand. New York, she still had to get used to.
She and New York had only been together for about two years, but it seemed like a lifetime. They adjusted quickly to each other, making it easy for M to fall in love with New York. How could you not? Everyone that met New York loved it. People who hadn’t, longed to meet it. Some even aspired, dreamt, to be with it one day. And here M was, she had New York. But she wondered, was this relationship sustainable? Would it last? Could it last? Their time together had been, in fact, short. However, M felt as if New York was the new true love … even though she never envisioned anything being as important to her as California was. Their relationship was exciting… every day she’d learn something new about New York, she was constantly learning more … about herself and even about others. That’s the thing about New York… it kept her on her toes.
California made her happy. New York made her feel alive.
Maybe she’d never belong to either of them.
*as expressed through instagrams & ironic/nostalgic prose.
I really don’t pay attention much to the people I come across each and every day… and I suppose I should… Considering, in some way or another, they are a part of my life. Every morning I pass by the public safety officer of my building, who reminds me of a grandfather-like figure, yet, I would totally be confident in their ability to kick the shit out of some bad guy. There’s the adorably, cute, old African-American lady that works at Au Bon Pain who rings my coffee up every morning. She always calls me some term of endearment that just melts my heart, “Have a great day dear!”, “Have a good one love!”. I like to feel I’m special, but I wonder if she makes other people buying their coffees/sandwiches/pastries feel all warm inside too. This is bad, but most days walking to classes I’ll pass by this one homeless lady who has my heart, on Broadway. Sometimes I give her money (depending on my bagel/coffee expenses thus far). I feel like she and I have shared the most intimate encounters… I mean, I’ve seen her pee and defecate on the street. And we always smile at each other – one time, she even smiled at me WHILE peeing. Rain or shine though, she always wears these really ultra fabulous sunglasses that reminds me, no matter how shitty life gets, there’s always a silver lining – like ironically owning a pair of oversized Marc Jacobs sunglasses. My day usually comes to an end at yoga class, where I always set up my mat in the same place… unfortunately next to the Yoga Nazi. He’s really mean, always screams at people who have their cellphones in class, and is even meaner to all the obvious newbies of the yoga studio. I’ve never talked to him before – aside from the few times he’s asked me to move my mat over so he can have more room. As mean as he is, there’s a good lesson to be learned there. Don’t take life too seriously. Every time he snaps at some poor, innocent girl whos phone lit up next to her, I just laugh while holding my Warrior II. Really guy? What are you trying at here? Unclench your asshole, and relax.
There are a bunch of other daily encounters with people I have… these ones are just worth mentioning. Why am I thankful? Because not only are they part of my life, every, single day, but also because I don’t want to take these people for granted. I take a lot of my daily routine for granted, and never really think about the people who are a part of it… no matter how small their role.
What are YOU thankful for?
“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them” – Dreams For An Insomniac
Because a life without love, even love lost, really isn’t a life at all! I’m not talking about the love from your family, your friends, your neighbors, or your mentors etc those are vital, necessary and amazing types of love. But I’m talking about that real love, that, “ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without each other love” – as my fictional spirit animal, Carrie Bradshaw would say. And as if he’s reading this, I’m sure my boyfriend has just rolled his eyes at me for not only quoting Carrie Bradshaw, but for also citing her as my fictional spirit animal (it is what it is babe!). Its with him I have been so lucky to have found a love just like that. It’s a love that just manifested, under the craziest, most testing circumstances, that we’ve grown into. Despite the challenges he’s faced and that we’ve faced together, I’m constantly in awe of the bond we share each and every day. Love, through the form of my boyfriend, has made me a better, kinder, caring, happier person. You know its a good love when you look at your relationship and see that it hasn’t compromised either of your personalities, values, beliefs, goals… and even better if it has made improvements in your own personality. I’m thankful for this love that never dies. I feel the same way about him from when we go to bed at night, and wake up in the morning; whether we’ve gone two weeks without speaking, or even just two minutes. I’m thankful for this love that completes me, makes me stronger, helps me grow, and teaches me new things about myself everyday. I love you, and I mean it.