Netflix’s Q1 results have shown solid and promising. And everyone is all of a sudden surprised by this? Seriously Forbes, if you took a second and looked around, you’d realize that pretty much 87% of Americans have a Netflix account – even if they’re using a friends’ account, and that of the typical American’s week, 13% of it is spent on Netflix. Just kidding, I made that all up, but it sounded absurdly true, right? Might as well be. What was life before Netflix? You’d lay in bed and what, turn on the TV, and what? Watch local news? Gross. Whether we like to admit it or not, Netflix is pretty damn life changing.
When Netflix has all 10 seasons of a TV show you want to watch…
Development of addictive personalities.
Due to Netflix have I developed an addictive personality. Actually, it may have started when at the end of my freshman year of college I decided to treat myself and buy a giant boxed set of every season, and movie of the Sex and the City franchise. I watched every single disc, movie, and episode within a week (that’s 94 episodes and 2 movies)… finals week might I add. Although I finished that semester on the Dean’s List, I found myself jonesing hardcore for the next episode, “OMG CARRIE CHEATED ON AIDAN WITH BIG? WHAT IS POSSIBLY GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!” (sorry for the spoiler there, I mean, if it was a spoiler for you, then you really need to step up your game … like 7 years ago). My point is, when you have all the episodes to a show right there, in your face – it’s hard not to get addicted.
When I tell my friends I’m staying in tonight because I’m exhausted… but really I’m going to finish Season 2 of Mad Men…
A go-to excuse.
I’ve actually said the phrase, “No I can’t go out tonight, I’m watching Netflix” out loud to a group of people I didn’t know that well. And you know what, I was completely shameless about saying it too. Sadly, I / we live in a world where thats disgustingly acceptable. Also, can you really justify a night out when you spend upwards of $30 on drinks when you can sit at home and watch Breaking Bad, fo free?!
When you realize you don’t need a significant other, so long as you have Netflix…
Goes back to using Netflix as an excuse. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a bed, delivery food, and a Netflix subscription. Honestly. Or in some relationships, Netflix is the common ground, the center of the relationship… it’s happened. And at the end of the day, when relationships end… Netflix will still remain. Oh god, that Netflix… so dependable, everything you could ever hope for.
When you realize the longest standing relationship you’ve had is with your Netflix account…
Never have I spent a whole day with a person and not been annoyed. Okay, that’s a bit dramatic, but what I’m getting at is that sometimes we need our space. Netflix, on the other hand – I can spend multiple days with, and always want to come back for more. I want to be Netflix’s suffocating girlfriend. I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO SPEND EVERY WAKING SECOND WITH YOU! (not really, but you get the big idea, right?) I mean, Netflix always gives me more and more. Ever notice how when you finish an episode, Netflix knows to start the next episode in 20 seconds? That, right there my friends, is love. You got what I need baby.
Trying to escape your childhood…
I’m a huge fan of nostalgia. Actually, maybe not considering I just tried thinking of nostalgic foods, smells, images of my childhood but the only ones I could think of were associated with weird moments. Hmmm… The parts of my childhood that I do remember were the cartoons, movies and TV I watched. Recently, Netflix just penned a deal with Disney to distribute it’s old content. Amazing. Also added to that is Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon shows. Powerpuff Girls, SpongeBob SquarePants (who am I kidding, I’ve definitely seen an episode of this in the last year), Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and my ultimate favorite – Scooby Doo. Or maybe you simply just catch up on the childhood you never had. Either way, its nice to pretend your a kid again.
When Netflix announced the entire season 4 of Arrested Development will be released on May 26th…
Instant gratification is my middle name. I want it, and I want it now. Netflix rolled out all 13 episodes of House of Cards February 1st, which was game changing in the eyes of media makers. This is fantastic, because now media companies are thinking of following suit. Think about it this way… if you’re anything like me, you finished the entire first season of House of Cards by mid February. If it were to follow the traditional release schedule, this week, we’d be watching the final episode of the Kevin Spacey drama. Amazing? Absolutely. Now Netflix is releasing THE WHOLE ENTIRE SEASON 4 of Arrested Development on May 26th. Thank God I’ll be done with finals at this point. You’re all mine that week Netflix, just you, me, and the never nudes.
Media game changer.
Some people are super low key about what Netflix has done to the media world. HBO/Showtime are all like, “Oh its cool but like its not that awesome, Netflix will never be us srry”, and Viacom/Timewarner etc. are all like “Whatevs, everyone loves us big conglomerates, bow down”, while others are like “OMG Netflix is changing the game forevs!”… clearly I belong to the latter, just without as much enthusiasm. Honestly though, Netflix has changed our viewing practices, the way we see TV programming, and quite possibly, the way TV producers might make their content.
Sometimes Netflix is annoying / a nuisance. You get twitchy eyes from looking at your computer for extended periods of time. Or, after watching half a season of a show you realize you’ve done nothing with your life for the past 5 hours. Or maybe after an hour of scrolling through movies and TV shows, you realize your an indecisive sonofab**** and cannot pick something to watch for the life of you and that in itself is worrisome and annoying. Yeah, just blame it on Netflix. The fact of the matter is, so long as we crave entertainment, company, nostalgic things, Netflix will always have our back.
You log onto Facebook (who are we kidding, you’ve never even logged off). Check your notifications, scroll through your Newsfeed. Your friend listened to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs on Spotify, you ‘like’ that. A friend shares a link about the latest celebrity scandal, you ‘like’ that. Another friend shares a photo from the NYU Memes page, you laugh, and, naturally, you ‘like’ that too. Little do you know, your ‘likes’ project a very powerful image of you.
According to a study from the University of Cambridge, Facebook ‘likes’ can be used to gather information about your sexual orientation, politics, religion, intelligence and emotional stability. We tend to use this ‘like’ button indiscriminately, unaware of what the effects may be. Summarily, if you ‘like’ certain things, they become indicators of the type of person you are. For example, according to the study, indicators of male homosexuality were pages such as the “No H8 Campaign” and “Wicked: The Musical”, whereas male heterosexuality was indicated by user likes of “Wu Tang Clan” or “Shaq”. Supposedly we can also predict whether a user is introverted or extroverted, their intelligence level and their political alignments according to their liked pages.
A website that has tried to utilize this is www.youarewhatyoulike.com. All you do is login with your Facebook, and the site generates an output based off of your likes.
While I do agree that the Likes they’ve listed are most indicative of my profile, I don’t agree with how they’ve categorized me. Sure I’m liberal, and sometimes consider myself creative and artistic, and for the most part I am very organized and like to have my shit all together. Verdicts still out on whether I actually am friendly. The last two I’m having trouble over. While I’d like to think I’m calm and relaxed, in reality I’m a bit high strung and anxious. Also, I’m very competitive. So there’s goes that “agreeableness”. I’m calling a farse on you http://www.youarewhatyoulike.com.
But for the most part this can prove to be accurate. Lately I’ve been inspired to run a Ragnar Relay (if you don’t know what it is, check it out), and clicked the ‘like’ button on the Ragnar Relay Facebook page to get updates. Now, in my Newsfeed, nested in between status updates and photos of friends, are sponsored ads for the “Warrior Dash”, “Iron Man”, “Diva Run”, and even one promoting Joint Relief care (thanks for looking out, Facebook) – all things that are, in fact, appealing to me. However, Facebook often has the tendency to take these ‘likes’ completely out of context. For example, I’m a huge fan of NBC’s Law & Order: SVU. When I first made my Facebook profile I listed Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent, as my “Favorite TV Shows” (right next to Sex and the City, and 30 Rock, mind you). The repercussions of this have been a range of ads for schools: ITT Tech School of Criminal Justice, Rutgers School of Criminal Justice; ads for the search term “Law & Order” clearly taken out of context: Indian Law & Order Commission, Christian Commission on Faith & Order. I do love the show Law and Order, but I cannot say I have ever, nor will I ever in the future, be interested in the field of law or criminal justice. While I do appreciate the suggestions, Facebook, I’ll decline. In fact, taking ‘likes’ out of context and making assumptions based on them is annoying, weird, and intrusive.
The fact that, as individuals, we are now scrutinized and judged upon what pages we click on, is disheartening. Our personal identities have thus been commandeered by the simplistic digital decisions we make and the click of a like button. The study by the University of Cambridge lays out a table of predictive ‘likes’ and what they indicate. Apparently, the pages “I Love Being A Mom” and “Lady Antebellum” are indicators of a low IQ, whereas “Morgan Freeman’s Voice”, “The Godfather”, and “Curly Fries” are indicators of a high IQ. First of all, there are countless highly intelligent, career driven, and smart women who love being moms. Take Marissa Mayer for instance: she loves being a mom, and as a CEO I would assume she has a high IQ. This assumption is both sexist, and probably just as irrelevant as the relationship of liking “Curly Fries” to your IQ is. Additionally, our ‘likes’ can also reveal if we are an introvert with few friends, or an extrovert with many friends. Liking “Jennifer Lopez”, “Michael Jordan” and “Biology” means you are extroverted with many friends. On the other hand, pages like “In n Out Burger”, “The Dark Knight” and “Videogames” indicate introvert with few friends. To me, these all seem entirely irrelevant. What if you enjoy going to In N Out and watching The Dark Knight with a big group of your friends? These pages certainly cannot be predictors of the type of people we are or how we see ourselves.
What Facebook and corresponding commercial companies that use this data are doing is stereotyping the users. Apply this to offline life. How would you like it if you just met someone and told them you once read the book, Fifty Shades of Grey, and naturally they assume you are into S&M, and probably into the Twilight series? Is that a fair assumption that should be made? It’s ludicrous right? People shouldn’t do that, so why should Facebook and other data mining companies? Your Facebook profile, and other online personal profiles for that matter, should be the information that you post and want others to see. It should reflect you solely because, well, you put that information out there. Your profiles should not be a wealth of information for companies to use and make out of context assumptions about you. The user should be able to control their online presence and not have it be constructed by some impersonal algorithm that assumes that IF a user ‘likes’ X, THEN they must be Y and act accordingly.
We’re much more complex individuals than that. We have to give ourselves some credit.
You deal with average men on a regular basis. I’m well aware of how superior I am to them. They really don’t do you justice.
This by far has been one of my favorite things a heterosexual male (this one I am actually friends with) has ever said to me. Preach, jock. Also, check out his blog – who said muscular jocks can’t write well?
We need to speak.
I’m so in to Cali girls.
I feel the sense of urgency here. I really do. Its just, I don’t give a shit. And I hate being stereotyped as a “cali” girl. I’m from California. Not Cali. Nails to a fucking chalkboard.
……..Ok, I admit it. I like your style and I think we might well be the two coolest people out here! We should totally take advantage of it, and elope to Tibet, spend a kick ass year in Shangri La and live happily ever after, throwing money in trash and partying like Charlie Sheen. I have this whole thing planned out, so all you have to do is sit by the pool, drink margaritas and get oiled up by hot pool boys all day while I go on my mountaineering expeditions. So I’m really banking on you to say yes to this or I’m going to have to just find Liya Kebede and I don’t think the plan will turn out as well.
Wow. First of all, I don’t want to party like Charlie Sheen. Second of all, your mountaineering expeditions? Third of all, NO.
The law says that you cannot touch, but I think I see a lot of lawbreakers up in this house tonight.
Oh yeah? I see a lot of creeps and rapists too.
Ok you are seriously adorable. Can I adopt you as my little sister? I’ll make us kool-aid and protect you from the other kids on the playground, I promise
WHAT?! This reads: I’m into exploring role playing where you are the younger girl and have to depend on me for help. Does it not? Stop please.
You’re cute and seem to have substance, not an easy combo to come by. I’m intrigued
No, no, no, no, no, bro. I get you’re trying to compliment me (and I’ll be the first to admit I’m terrible at accepting compliments), but I SEEM to have SUBSTANCE?! NO! I have fucking substance and don’t you forget it bro. You seem to be an asshole Also, speaking for my ladies out there… everyone has substance. You’re just a douchebag if you can’t see it.
How would you rate your snarky humor?
Is my humor snarky? What?
You have a blog that you shamelessly plug yet only one pic of yourself. That’s a-grade narcissism and a complete lack thereof at the same time. Consider my circuits scrambled. Not serious… Kinda serious…It’s all good if you are aware of it… I have an intuition that you are the type you have to shuush at times when there’s too much crazy stuff popping out that turns heads at surrounding tables… haha
I’ll agree with you on the “a-grade narcissism”. What can you do. However, don’t agree with you calling me a cocky, crazy bitch though. Learn your manners! RUDE!
Have crazy OkCupid stories? Do men say weird shit to you on a regular basis? Lets hear it! Email that shit in pronto to email@example.com .
Back when MySpace generation 1 was all the rage and your popularity depended on how many people’s Top 8 you appeared on, making an online profile was much more easier. Now it seems so complex, presumptuous, too thought out. Or maybe it’s just because I was like 10 years younger back then… okay maybe like 6 years younger.
Now: Well, I grew up Catholic, I’ve been thinking about Kabalah, and Buddhism, so I’d call myself an Atheist, naturally.
Now: Capricorn. But I identify more with Saggitarius when Jupiter reaches its fifth moon usually.
Now: student / intern / unemployed / help?!
Then: I’m kewl. I like chillin with friends, hanging out, living my lif3! (Insert inspirational quote probably from Marilyn Monroe or someone, here)
Now: I like to find old vintage things. Listen to vinyls. I’m a very complex person. I will try to show this by a very ambiguously small amount of information here.
Then: Dancing, singing, living like there’s no 2morrow! ♥ *~*~*~*~*
Now: Reading, writing poetry, painting landscapes.
Then: OMG WHERE DO I START! B*Witched, Spice Girls, ATeens, Backstreet Boys, NSync, Britney Spears, Avril Lavine.
Now: a band you never heard of, a band that sounds like a viral disease, a hipster ironic band, indie band, indie band, another band you’ve never heard of, The Beatles, a band that sounds like another band. Obviously the more obscure this section is, the more interesting you presumably will be.
Then: A Walk To Remember. Best movie of all time!!!!
Now: Any movie by Baz Luhrmann. Have you seen the previews for Great Gatsby? I probably won’t watch it though…movies ALWAYS ruin the books.
5 Things You Couldn’t Live Without:
Then: my family & friendz, mp3, food, dog, clothes
Now: my iPod, my iPhone, my iPad, my MacBook, my family.
How to Contact Me:
Also, back then you could pimp your profile with MySpACE LaYoutZ and sparkly thangs, and even add a song that exemplifies your great personality!
Oh dear lord. Thank goodness for evolution. But admit it, youre a bit #nostalgic too.
Go ahead. I dare you to stalk your old self via Myspace. Although, you’ll probably have to login. Forgot your password? Just try to remember your crush 5+ years ago, and theyre favorite number/color. Any combo will most likely work.