I won’t lie. I use Pinterest, Tumblr etc. religiously to pass time and scroll endlessly (whoever invented that thing where you scroll to the bottom of the page and it automatically loads more content is a motherfucking genius). But lets be real here… Like, seriously… lets be REAL. Sometimes after 20 minutes of mindless, endless scrolling and of looking at food porn, artsy hipster pictures, fitness inspiration, etc. you tend to lose sight of reality.
- Despite the amount of wedding inspiration photos you ‘LIKE’ or repin, does not mean you will be getting married soon. Assuming youre a twenty something… you probably won’t be getting married in a few years. So, that wedding dress you repinned under your “WEDDING IDEAS” board on Pinterest, probably wont exist come time to get married. Actually, in a few years I’m sure Pinterest will be phased out and replaced by the newest social media site – thus you will inevitably lose all of your “WEDDING IDEAS” pins. Again, lets be real here… your wedding probably won’t look like those cute pictures you see on Tumblr and Pinterest anyways. I mean, MY wedding is going to look like that. Just not yours. There. I said it.
- The amount of (hair/fashion/makeup) DIY pictures you repin or ‘LIKE’ does not correspond to how cool you are. Youre lazy. Everyone’s lazy. Who the fuck will actually go and try all that shit, or actually try that shit to their hair. If you do, it never turns out the same as the cute ass pictures that prompt the inspiration. Yeah, I want really cute high waisted jean shorts – but I’m not about to aimlessly butcher my favorite pair of jeans for it because a DIY picture on Pinterest or Tumblr made it look SO cute. I’ll pay for someone else’s butchering skills. I have ONE experience with a DIY off of pinterest… it was a DIY facial pore strip type thing made with a gelatin and warm milk concoction. What in the world was I thinking. The girl in the picture looked so happy with such beautiful skin… so I mixed up the ingredients and applied it to my face while thinking “Smearing this shit all over my face better be worth it!” Well, it wasn’t. I left it on for the 15 minutes the instructions said to, and had the hardest time of my life peeling the stuff off. It sure got deep in my pores, while peeling the first layer of the skin off my face. I mean, it wasn’t that drastic, I just remember that whole night my face looked like raw salmon. Never again. The best DIY picture that was super cute was “DIY: Hanging Bed” It looked so trendy and so adorable. But really? I wouldn’t trust myself to hang a fucking BED from the ceiling and then be okay with sleeping on said contraption. Some DIYs really shouldn’t be DIYs.
- The amount of food porn pictures you ‘LIKE’ or repin DOES correspond to how hungry you are. Or how hungry you WILL be. Pinterest is a really dangerous place for an weight conscious person. Just fucking disable your Tumblr or Pinterest account if youre dieting, unless youre terribly masochist. Definitely two websites to stay clear of if you have the munchies. As is, sober me sits and drools in front of the computer and fantasizes about cheese covered this, and chocolate covered that and sugary coated deliciousness with a bit of fried something and laced with fat another thing. Also, those stupid fitness inspiration photos with a crazy unattainable girls body covered with words that say shit like “DO YOU REALLY WANT THAT COOKIE?” or “ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO EAT THAT?” are ridiculous. Yeah, I fucking want that fucking cookie. I’m going to stuff my face. Because, as it is, I’m already on the computer being the fatass, so I’ve accepted the fact that I will never have that model body.
- Likewise, no matter how hard you try, the recipe you tried to make off of Pinterest will neither look as cute or be as good as the picture looks. Its better you just accept that and get over it. Unless youre a professional cook or some shit. It doesn’t happen. I made a bean salad off of a recipe I saw on Pinterest, and despite an Instagram filter, it still didn’t look as yummy or as cute or as cool as the picture showed it online. I won’t even TRY the baked goods… too much room for error there.
- Despite the amount of fitness inspiration pictures you ‘LIKE’ or no matter how intensive your fitness board on Pinterest is, doesn’t mean you will get THAT bikini body. First of all, your thinkings flawed. Youre sitting at your computer admiring that bod… while you can be at the gym GETTING that bod. Maybe it gets you inspired or what have you. Second of all, lets be honest… I’m sure 90% of those pictures are either A) Models or B) female weight lifters who train their whole lives to get a fucking six pack. Aim for something attainable… not completely far fetched.
I love Pinterest. I will be the first to admit that, but a girls gotta get real sometimes.