Hurricane Sandy: A Timeline

Hurricane Sandy a basic bitch. She ain’t got nothing on our sass.

10.28.2012

1:00PM- Email that classes for the following day, Monday, will be cancelled, due to Hurricane Sandy. 3 Day weekend? I think yes! Go about my Sunday.

10.29.2012

2:30PM- Email that classes for Tuesday are cancelled as well, due to Hurricane Sandy… still no sign of the impending disaster. Nonetheless absolutely overjoyed.

3:00PM- Maybe I spoke to soon. Sandy is here, probably. Not that I’m a meterologist or anything, but its super windy. Windy as in if I were to go outside, life my arms out and let me jacket loose, I’d probably fly away like a kite.

4:00PM- Email from NYU advising what to do if/when power goes out. Great. Read, “residence halls might have to evacuate”… popped a Xanax and took a nap from stress. Woke up. Went downstairs for potato chips and Ben & Jerrys. Read said NYU email again, thorougly this time, and imagined how angry I / my parents would be if NYU took us to a shelter with bums and crackheads. Pluses – free food, lots of people including firemen / strong male helpers. Minuses- crackheads and bums. Cockroaches. Anxiety of all my belongings being left behind. On second though, NYU would probably relocate all of us students to the school gym.

5:00PM- Email from my mother, re-iterating that I really should pack a “go bag” like the NYU email said to. My answer- HELL NO… although I seriously considered it.

5:20PM- Call from my mother telling me again that I really should pack a bag. No wonder I’m always so anxious / paranoid. I get it from my mother. After a reassuring phone conversation, pulled out weekend bag, threw in chargers, book, socks, wallet, sweatshirt. Realized it was a sorry excuse for an emergency “go bag”. Oh well.

6:00-9:00PM- While Sandy fucks shit up outside, I have a movie marathon in the vicinity of my own room. Starting with The Roommate, 21 Jump Street, and concluding with Season 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. This is followed by a dance party with the Grease sound track in honor of Sandy. Hurricane Sandy in Grease seems just as nice girl and prude as Sandy in Grease. Again, I jinx it. Lights begin to flicker, multiple power surges.

9:30PM- Lose power and water. Sandy is officially a bitch for making me miss the winner of RuPaul’s Christmas Challenge. Sandy is raging outside – crazy, derranged bitch. Nothing else to do so I go to sleep at 12am – by far the earliest I’ve ever fallen asleep since I’ve been in college. I’m disgusted with myself.

Post-Sandy Nourishment.

10.30.2012

8:30AM- Wake up, can’t go back to sleep. Cell reception and wifi is officially gone. I’m fucked. My life is incomplete. I have fallen off the grid. Go outside to see Sandy’s devastation, thus leaving the confines of my apartment for the first time in 24+ hours. I am a mole person. My eyes take awhile to adjust

9:30AM- Walk outside. Branches/trees everywhere. The greenest and leafiest New York I have ever seen. Walk by tourists taking pictures of people pumping water out of their basements on 14th street as well as the lines at the pay phones. Tourists are douchebags. But all New Yorkers know that. I silently make fun of the people on payphones.

1:00PM- Walk into apartment. Food is definitely going bad in fridge. Almost gag from the smell. Go back out and try to find somewhere that miraculously is open to eat. Find that even bodegas aren’t open! WTF. SoHo honestly looks like a zombie apocalypse. Find a trendy place thats open. Feelings go from excitement to disgust when I see the food they actually are serving (compared to the food they usually serve). Some poor tourist gets served a giant sausage with canned beans poured on top on a paper plate looking like its about to tear through. Walk a bit further to find “Indian Food To Go” fashioned out of paper boxes… Um I’ll pass. Ended up finding a pizza place open due to their true brick oven claims.

3:00PM- Stop at NYU Student Center to charge electronics. Resembles food kitchens. Fully functioning and fully lit space is definitely  a plus. Nasty sandwiches and grumpy students still studying / doing work ( what the fuck for, I don’t know) – definitely a minus.

7:00PM- Told tonight would be optional evacuation and tomorrow after 3PM would be mandatory. Picture thousands of NYU kids in NYU gym, not showering. Opt to stay with roommate and her family without power but with running water. Pack bag within 15 minutes – by far the fastest I’ve ever packed for anything.  Proceed to walk up to roommates house in the pitch black dark, absolutely deserted, sans street lights or traffic signs. Zombie apocalypse type shit.

8:30PM- Survive the walk. Call parents to let them know I am indeed alive via phonebooth. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to use it. G-H-E-T-T-O. Almost certain I’ve contracted a disease on my ear from using phonebooth more than once.

11:30PM- Without power, wifi, or cell reception nothing to do. Decide to go to sleep.

10.31.2012

10:00AM- After freezing cold shower I am semi-ready to take on the world. Walk down to my building to pick up things before mandatory evacuation.

12:00PM- Sneak in with roommate into her lab to bask in power, wifi, and running water. For an hour or so I rejoin civilation with my texts working, facebook, twitter, updates, etc. I have been deprived.

Oh it’s Halloween? Oh well. I hate Halloween anyways.

Manhattan Post Sandy, pretty much.

11.01.2012

10:00AM- Take a working bus up to 42nd street to again rejoin civilization. See masses of National Guards and their trucks / RVs  on 23rd street. Slightly frightened. Flashbacks of I Am Legend / The Day After Tomorrow. Ugh.  Realize that past 34th street its a whole other universe. Everything works. Everyone is going on with their life. Restaurants are open, STARBUCKS and CHIPOTLE are open. People might actually even be going to WORK and SCHOOL! Meanwhile downtown, people are struggling big time. Take advantage of Starbucks. Nothing else to do but shop. Minimal damage.

Currently in NYU’s Student Center   on campus refugee camp. Last night Alec Baldwin came to visit students and “offer words of encouragement”… hoping for some celeb sightings. Probably unlikely. Meanwhile, holding my breath as I charge my appliances, suck the WiFi out of the building all while trying to avoid the smell of all of the unwashed students. Wiffs of B.O. is prevalent. Mixed with the meals theyre giving out. Stomach curdling.

Just realized I’m a spoiled bitch.

Considering we probably won’t get our electricity/water back until late Saturday or Sunday and don’t have classes until Monday, I have decided that life without WiFi and electricity is really not that exciting. This is some urban camping shit. Let me tell you.

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