ICYMI: March Roundup

We were all MAD about March. Here’s what I, MADeleine thought was MAD cool about March… see what I did there?

March Madness:

I don’t think anyone makes a bracket and is like, “WOW my bracket is doing so well! Great picks, me!”… like, ever. What’s great about NCAA March Madness is it’s both predictable and has a few exciting story lines in there too. Like Florida Gulf Coast University. Who woulda thought? Harvard had their short lived moment too.  Maybe you had Ohio State University going to the ‘ship because youre in love with Aaron Craft. No? Oh. Speaking of basketball, and Dunk City… this month a monumental dunk happened. DeAndre Jordan of the LA Clippers completely owned Brandon Knight while dunking on him. Calling it now – dunk of the year.

My man De Andre Jordan is definitely not sorry.

North Korea:

So everyone’s always been on edge with North Korea. They’re like your senile grandpa who sits at the family dinner quietly, but if something goes wrong or upsets him, the shit hits the fan. Between being critical of the late Kim Jong-il’s relationship with neighboring countries and the USA, to his inspiring fashion statements – sunglasses 24/7 + neutral collared jacket oh yes, we (as in Americans) have always been in a weird place with North Korea. Then, this month, Dennis Rodman decides to hang out with Kim Jong Un and since then, the two have since developed quite the bromance (Rodman claims he’s vacationing with Jong Un in August). This is no different than a Mean Girls-esque situation, and someone needs to tell Rodman that North Korea and the USA are giving eachother the silent treatment and “YOU CAN’T HANG OUT WITH HIM! YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR FRIEND!” WTF Rodman, does nuclear war mean ANYTHING to you?!

AT&Ts Commercial Game:

If there’s one thing I am absolutely in love with on TV right now it’s Beck Bennett, the guy in all of AT&T’s commercials as of late. The dry humor, a man with kids… swoon. More importantly, these commercials are GENIUS. AT&T is killing the commercial game right now. They’re topping the list of the top 10 Social TV Commercials… something that some advertisers only dream of doing. The kids are cute, the shit they say is priceless (have you seen the Nicky Flash one?), and while maybe you don’t care about what AT&T has to offer, you’re definitely going to talk about it with your friends or Tweet about it… I know I have on multiple times. This month (last week actually) AT&T pulled out all the stops during March Madness and aired a commercial with Bennett’s adorable straight faced humor, but the cute racially diverse, sassy, talkative children, were replaced by basketball greats like Bill Russell, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Larry Bird. Amazing. AT&T is seriously killing it. Their commercials are almost entertaining enough to makeup for the shitty service I get out here.

GIRLS Season 2 Finale:

This season was a flop. Yeah, you read that right. I’m a huge fan of Lena Dunham. Seriously, I love her. I get her sense of humor, I encourage her excessive nudity, and I like her IDGAF attitude. I loved GIRLS season 1. I loved Hannah – she’s quirky, a writer, confident, and hilarious. Jessa is a badass bohemian, Shoshanna is a anxiety-filled JAP, and Marnie is a stuck up, self centered, wanna-be yuppie. All characters we can identify with, I’m sure. In terms of relationships, all of the girls showed in their own ways that, although an integral part of their lives, men weren’t a necessary addition. However, this season, they all seemed so dependent on men – something that really turned me off on this. Whether it was Shoshanna & Ray, Hannah & Adam, Jessa and her daddy problems, and Marnie & Jonathan/Charlie. It was unbecoming. A very unbecoming trait of you GIRLS.

Jon Hamm’s Ham:

Mad Men Season 6 premiers this Sunday. If youre a female (or homosexual male for that matter) you’re excited to see Don Draper in a suit every Sunday night. I know I’ve missed that in my life. However, people have been onto Jon Hamm lately for a little more than just his suit-wearing, whiskey-drinking perfection of DD. This month the media has been in a frenzy over pictures of Jon Hamm’s rather large package. People are freaking out. Clearly the public cannot handle the sexiness that is Jon Hamm. Hamm, on the other hand is not basking in the glory, but instead is pretty fucking pissed off, “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason,” he says. “I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal … But whatever. I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite”. Yeah Jon Ham.. it is much better. #WWDDD (WhatWouldDonDraperDo)

Top Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:

  1. “#questionablesearchhistory” The fact that someone is googling this says plenty to their character.
  2. “#integritychallenged” Really, don’t read too into LuLu, guys. 
  3. “brian wilson beard” 
  4. “20 shameful things”
  5. “ok glass dorks” LOL. I’m picturing some asshole interrupting Google developers and being like, “OK, glass dorks..”
  6. “take yourself off of lulu app” There’s a way I’m sure, but maybe you should consider a few other things to work on.
  7. “jennifer lawrence says fuck” She does. I’m wondering if the searcher wanted a video of J Law saying the expletive, or they wanted to know how many times, or… what?
  8. “what does trustfund baby mean” It means that if youre asking this then your parents are filthy rich and you’ve never had to worry about being paid on time. Probably.
  9. “how to tie a turban” 
  10. “feet fetish shoe department” I know right? 
    No one sleeps like that. Seriously. [via zap2it.com]

Other notable things that happened in March:

-So like Tilda Swinton slept in a glass box at the MOMA for an exhibition and we all instagrammed it and thought it was artsy. No. As Sarah Lakshmi says, “It is a sad day for art when some random British actress can sleep in a museum and all the homeless people have to sleep outside”. True that sistahfriend.
-This really shouldn’t be newsworthy and the whole Lindsay Lohan thing is so overdone and excessive, but I must say, she’s not at the top of the list on my classy chart, but the woman did put herself together pretty well for her court date wearing a sheer pants and top from 3.1 Phillip Lim. She did good. In other trashy celebrity news this month, Amanda Bynes has officially gone crazy chick.

What we can look forward to in April:

As I said before, Don Draper is gracing our lives again every Sunday starting this weekend. Mad Men. Baseball is back! If that’s not enough for you, the movie on Jackie Robinson, 42, comes out April 12th. Also, 4/20 is this month so naturally we’re all celebrating… Earth Day. Right?


One Comment

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  1. A. I really do want to learn how to tie a turban…so forward me that post ASAP
    B. One of the top ways people find my blog is by searching “short girl’s feet”…I am pretty sure I am going to end up in a white windowless van real soon…Yours search engine terms are way better!

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