Netflix’s Q1 results have shown solid and promising. And everyone is all of a sudden surprised by this? Seriously Forbes, if you took a second and looked around, you’d realize that pretty much 87% of Americans have a Netflix account – even if they’re using a friends’ account, and that of the typical American’s week, 13% of it is spent on Netflix. Just kidding, I made that all up, but it sounded absurdly true, right? Might as well be. What was life before Netflix? You’d lay in bed and what, turn on the TV, and what? Watch local news? Gross. Whether we like to admit it or not, Netflix is pretty damn life changing.
When Netflix has all 10 seasons of a TV show you want to watch…
Development of addictive personalities.
Due to Netflix have I developed an addictive personality. Actually, it may have started when at the end of my freshman year of college I decided to treat myself and buy a giant boxed set of every season, and movie of the Sex and the City franchise. I watched every single disc, movie, and episode within a week (that’s 94 episodes and 2 movies)… finals week might I add. Although I finished that semester on the Dean’s List, I found myself jonesing hardcore for the next episode, “OMG CARRIE CHEATED ON AIDAN WITH BIG? WHAT IS POSSIBLY GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!” (sorry for the spoiler there, I mean, if it was a spoiler for you, then you really need to step up your game … like 7 years ago). My point is, when you have all the episodes to a show right there, in your face – it’s hard not to get addicted.
When I tell my friends I’m staying in tonight because I’m exhausted… but really I’m going to finish Season 2 of Mad Men…
A go-to excuse.
I’ve actually said the phrase, “No I can’t go out tonight, I’m watching Netflix” out loud to a group of people I didn’t know that well. And you know what, I was completely shameless about saying it too. Sadly, I / we live in a world where thats disgustingly acceptable. Also, can you really justify a night out when you spend upwards of $30 on drinks when you can sit at home and watch Breaking Bad, fo free?!
When you realize you don’t need a significant other, so long as you have Netflix…
Goes back to using Netflix as an excuse. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a bed, delivery food, and a Netflix subscription. Honestly. Or in some relationships, Netflix is the common ground, the center of the relationship… it’s happened. And at the end of the day, when relationships end… Netflix will still remain. Oh god, that Netflix… so dependable, everything you could ever hope for.
When you realize the longest standing relationship you’ve had is with your Netflix account…
Never have I spent a whole day with a person and not been annoyed. Okay, that’s a bit dramatic, but what I’m getting at is that sometimes we need our space. Netflix, on the other hand – I can spend multiple days with, and always want to come back for more. I want to be Netflix’s suffocating girlfriend. I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO SPEND EVERY WAKING SECOND WITH YOU! (not really, but you get the big idea, right?) I mean, Netflix always gives me more and more. Ever notice how when you finish an episode, Netflix knows to start the next episode in 20 seconds? That, right there my friends, is love. You got what I need baby.
Trying to escape your childhood…
I’m a huge fan of nostalgia. Actually, maybe not considering I just tried thinking of nostalgic foods, smells, images of my childhood but the only ones I could think of were associated with weird moments. Hmmm… The parts of my childhood that I do remember were the cartoons, movies and TV I watched. Recently, Netflix just penned a deal with Disney to distribute it’s old content. Amazing. Also added to that is Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon shows. Powerpuff Girls, SpongeBob SquarePants (who am I kidding, I’ve definitely seen an episode of this in the last year), Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and my ultimate favorite – Scooby Doo. Or maybe you simply just catch up on the childhood you never had. Either way, its nice to pretend your a kid again.
When Netflix announced the entire season 4 of Arrested Development will be released on May 26th…
Instant gratification is my middle name. I want it, and I want it now. Netflix rolled out all 13 episodes of House of Cards February 1st, which was game changing in the eyes of media makers. This is fantastic, because now media companies are thinking of following suit. Think about it this way… if you’re anything like me, you finished the entire first season of House of Cards by mid February. If it were to follow the traditional release schedule, this week, we’d be watching the final episode of the Kevin Spacey drama. Amazing? Absolutely. Now Netflix is releasing THE WHOLE ENTIRE SEASON 4 of Arrested Development on May 26th. Thank God I’ll be done with finals at this point. You’re all mine that week Netflix, just you, me, and the never nudes.
Media game changer.
Some people are super low key about what Netflix has done to the media world. HBO/Showtime are all like, “Oh its cool but like its not that awesome, Netflix will never be us srry”, and Viacom/Timewarner etc. are all like “Whatevs, everyone loves us big conglomerates, bow down”, while others are like “OMG Netflix is changing the game forevs!”… clearly I belong to the latter, just without as much enthusiasm. Honestly though, Netflix has changed our viewing practices, the way we see TV programming, and quite possibly, the way TV producers might make their content.
Sometimes Netflix is annoying / a nuisance. You get twitchy eyes from looking at your computer for extended periods of time. Or, after watching half a season of a show you realize you’ve done nothing with your life for the past 5 hours. Or maybe after an hour of scrolling through movies and TV shows, you realize your an indecisive sonofab**** and cannot pick something to watch for the life of you and that in itself is worrisome and annoying. Yeah, just blame it on Netflix. The fact of the matter is, so long as we crave entertainment, company, nostalgic things, Netflix will always have our back.