April generally sucks because its rainy and shit, and lets be honest, most people aren’t that forward thinking to see the bright side and wait for May flowers. But it’s a wrap for April, so let’s talk about it.
Mad Love For Boston: Tragedy has a weird way of bringing a nation together. What happened in Boston was terrible. I’m not an emotional person. Rarely do I express my emotions, have emotions, or tell people about my emotions. I’ve been likened to a robot and have commonly been called an ice queen because of my nature. But when tragedies like what happened at the Boston Marathon happen, I start to feel. However, what really gets me super emotional is my love of sports. I’ve expressed a plethora of emotions in my relationship with sports – I’ve cried, laughed, cried of happiness, cried of sadness, been angry, been unreasonably angry… you get the picture. To see sports teams show love for Boston was too much for me. The Yankees giving Boston love, “Sweet Caroline” played at Yankee stadium and Fenway thanks to Neil Diamond, the national anthem at the Bruins game… I was a mess.
Spring Has Sprung: A lot of you ladies get way too ahead of yourselves and come out hard in those summer dresses. Chill. Out. Same with you bros out there in your bro tanks and flip flops and Chubbies shorts. Calling you out. Nah, but I get it! Spring is here, the weathers great… time to spend some time in the park and catch some Vitamin D (which so many of us New Yorkers are deprived of). Get excited, you have permission to bare arms.
The Great Gatsby Music Soundtrack: My jaw dropped when The Great Gatsby released their tracklisting. How in the world do you put The xx, Beyonce, Lana Del Rey, Florence + the Machine, and Jack White (AKA my favorites ever) all together for a soundtrack? Only in a Baz Luhrmann movie, that is. Check this baby out:
- “100$ Bill” – Jay-Z
- “Back To Black” – Beyoncé x Andre 3000
- “Bang Bang” – will.i.am
- “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got)” – Fergie + Q Tip + GoonRock
- “Young And Beautiful” – Lana Del Rey
- “Love Is The Drug” – Bryan Ferry with The Bryan Ferry Orchestra
- “Over The Love” – Florence + The Machine
- “Where The Wind Blows” – Coco O. of Quadron
- “Crazy in Love” – Emeli Sande and The Bryan Ferry Orchestra
- “Together” – The xx
- “Hearts A Mess” – Gotye
- “Love Is Blindness” – Jack White
- “Into the Past” – Nero
- “Kill and Run” – Sia
Psycho Sorority Chick?: Everyone had a field day with this (you definitely need to read it if you haven’t yet). It’s pretty unclassy and of poor taste – but it doesn’t mean that all sorority girls are psycho and crazy or deranged. In fact, I think this chick is neither of these. First of all, I think this chick has valid points in her rant. While I’m no sorority girl, I understand her frustration with her friends / sisters who cannot hold a conversation, have to be drunk to talk to males, etc. I get it girl! Sometimes people need to be called out. The most important part of this is that she is an excellent writer. I’m not even joking and completely defend her writing skills and eloquence. Something must be said for the perfectly put cuss words, and the very detailed ass kicking that will follow if x doesn’t happen. The girl has an amazing way with words. You have to give her credit for that. Props to you girlfriend. You may not be a sister at DG at University of Maryland, but we can possibly be soul sisters.
Jason Collins: If you remotely know who I am, you know I’m a pretty avid sports fan. This week Jason Collins of the Washington Wizards came out and became the first professional athlete playing a major American team sport, to come out as gay. This is incredible and I think it’ll open the doors to many other pro athletes and celebrities in the spotlight. The outpour of support that Collins has received ranging from NBA players like Kobe, LeBron, Jason Kidd to President Obama is very telling that our society is finally making progress in giving gays and lesbians the full equality that everyone deserves. We’re getting there ‘Merica.
Top Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:
- “kids annoy the shit out of me blog” – So someone searched this, and my website was a result? Is that the vibe I’m giving off? Good.
- “san francisco giants bandwagon fans” – … are the worst. Am I right?
- “turn tights into turban” – Refer to this post, or learn from the one who taught me and watch this YouTube video by the lovely JasonSimone. You won’t regret it.
- “neck pillow” – Are they actually comfortable? You tell me. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing one.
- “maria spinning sound of music” – Yeah… I like that scene too. Julie Andrews is so effervescent I cannot.
- “what does #wearscrocs mean” -IT MEANS HE WEARS CROCS! AKA IT MEANS RUN… RUN FAR AWAY!
- “unclassy women” – Oh God. Someone searched unclassy women, and my website popped up. #HELP
- “can you get drunk off of skinny girl cosmo” – The answer is yes. Trust me.
- “babysat kids with taped mouth” -Wait, what? Did you tape their mouths? I’m really curious here. Please email me the story behind this.
- “men in baseball pants fuck” – I know, right? I die.
Other notable things that happened in April:
-THIS HAPPENED. Frank Ocean fixed Jimmy Fallon’s bow tie while Justin Timberlake watched at the Time 100 gala. Amazing.
– Beyonce’s ad for H&M Summer 2013 came out, and we all swooned… and bowed down too, of course. There’s a lot of Bey rolling in the sand, and its nothing short of amazing.
What we can look forward to in May:
-The Met Gala is May 6 and is co hosted this year by Rooney Mara (girlcrush), Lauren Santo Domingo, Riccardo Tisci and Anna Wintour. The theme of the night will be punk… Anna and celebs like BEYONCE in PUNK wear?! I’m dying of excitement and anticipation. Expecting Sid Vicious realness from the men and I cannot wait.
-The Great Gatsby comes out May 10th. Leo, Carrie and Toby better give it to me straight.
-ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON 4 COMES OUT ON NETFLIX May 26th! That’s all that needs to be said about that.