Dating In The City: Pros and Cons

Being single in NYC or any city, or anywhere, can be the best thing ever, or can be the worst thing ever … depending on your attitude. Seriously. If you’ve ever watched Sex and the City – who are we kidding, you have, duh – you know that the show promotes the single life and monogamy. I just read a ThoughtCatalog post, 10 Reasons I Love Being Single In New York and am seriously(?) thinking about this situation. I’ve hinted at the taboo of talking about being single for awhile now, and this dude does have some pretty valid points, so like the rational beings we are, let’s discuss pro’s and con’s.

Oh how far we’ve come in terms of dating. [via]
PRO:  Attractive people galore. There is no shortage. You can date an athlete, a model, a guy who thinks he’s a model, a trainer, your trainer, etc. Everyone here is beautiful superficially, aesthetically, internally… you get the picture. I mean, like, have you SEEN the Humans of New York page? Everyone is ridiculously beautiful.
CON: There are attractive people everywhere. Like, everywhere. So you can’t really afford to walk to the grocery store with flip flops on and sweats and no makeup, because who does that (besides celebrities) when you know you’re going to walk past a firehouse, and you’ll pass upwards of 20 good looking folks out on the street?! You always have to be on your A game because the competition is FIERCE. Like Tyra Banks fierce, because who knows, you and Tyra might be dating the same man! But seriously. You never know.

PRO: Since the city has so many people, you’ll never have to run into your bad dates again… or so you think.
CON: You probably will run into a guy/girl you dated once or twice, or a few times… at the most inopportune time. Because that’s how it works. The city is so big that the coincidences are uncanny. Plus, the world likes to f*** you over like that.

PRO: The city has so many date spots and places to go, that youre unlikely to run into a guy/girl youre dating while on a date with another guy/girl. Usually.
CON: Some date spots or places just get marred by bad memories. I refuse to go to back to bars I’ve had bad dates on or coffee shops that I’ve ditched my date in or walked out on (it’s happened more times than is necessary). Also, when you do string along a few good dates, or start a… dare I say… relationship with someone, and things inevitably end, there are of course those places that you and your significant other frequented, that are ruined now.

PRO: Drinking. The Thought Cataloge post refered to how Happy Hour is always accessible and how in New York, its absolutely, completely, socially acceptable to drink at any hour of the day. This is true. However, would not suggest a first date at 10AM, throwing back redbull vodkas. I would suggest a brunch date, downing endless mimosas, however.
CON: …. well, drinking and imbibing..  no CON here as far as I can see.

PRO: Dating is referred to as an “instant mood lifter”. Read: Ego boost. It totally is. How else would you want to spend a few hours with a mildly attractive person talking about yourself, while pretending to listen to them (absolutely kidding…I’m a real good listener)? Everyone loves talking about themselves. Especially when you actually hit it off with your date, you start to think “Hey! I’m really interesting! Or at least he thinks I am! Wow! I needed this validation!”.
CON: Everyone knows dating can turn men and women into A) stage 5 clingers, B) sad, sorry SOBs or C) just pitiful. Every movie has that scene when the girl is flipping the f*** out because a guy won’t call her back. But more frequently does a pitiful Netflix night with Ben & Jerry’s, and some form of wine or liquor happen when a string of (bad) dates go awry. It is not an “instant mood lifter”. It will shake your emotions to the core. Kidding. Grow some balls.

PRO: You don’t get completely invested in anything or anyone! You do you baby boo, and let things take its course. It’s nice being so flippant with life!
CON: You actually do have to get invested. Not in the people you date, but you actually have to try and make somewhat of an effort. Shaving your legs before going out, is a good place to start.

PRO: Not feeling so bad about yourself when you hear your date’s bad date stories.
CON: Thinking of the possibility that somewhere, a guy you used to date might be telling a bad date story about you. Somewhere.



Add yours →

  1. Love this! I live in the D.C area and am dealing with a lot of the same dating related issues. Glad I found your blog!

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