A Mission Statement for YOUCANKISSMYSASS, Prompted By HateMail

Hello Madeleine,

I read your blog often and for the most part, find what you say to be pretty funny. Except, some of your articls, I think are rude, and stereotype girls. I’m starting to think that your humor comes from making fun of people and I no longer find it entertaing. I’m sure in person youre witty and humorous, and fun to hang out with, but you can’t be serious with the stuff you rite?! you really should think about your demographic here. Instead of information for twenty something girls to read, you instead slam them with criticism. Get in touch with your readers. Also, stop trying to pretend like you’re one of the guy by writing about sports. You probably sit at home and read Cosmo magazines like the rest of us while you do your nails and watch Mean Girls. Sports to the twenty something girl is just as irrelevant as anything else. Its literally the most boring thing I come across on your blog. Sorry to say.

Just thought I could share some advice!
Thanks.

Sincerely,
*********
(real email, received 6/10/2013 – straight copy pasted, no redactions, corrections, etc.)

Let’s have at this, shall we? First of all, *********, I applaud your passive aggressiveness. Pretty ironic, because I was about to write up a post of how to spot a passive aggressive (sayings, phrases, actions, typical things they do, etc), but this seems to fit the bill! *********, thank you for writing in! I love scathing criticism just as much as I love emails of praise and silly OKCupid messages (there is no sarcasm there, I promise – honestly, bring the pain. I’m kind of a masochist when it comes to my writing). There’s a lot here I can take into account – the catering to my audience, the whole thing about being a better person and not making fun of people, oh, and the thing about not being “one of the boys”. That’s a tall order to fill, and I’m totally on it. Also, I am pretty “witty and humorous and fun to hang out with” if I do say so myself! Good call there!

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I cannot, however, concede to or agree with some of the things you’ve said here, *********.

    • I will be as unapologetically rude, snarky, and judgemental as I want to be in my writing. This is my blog, my opinions, I say what I want. I will not censor, or limit myself for the sake of a larger audience. If you don’t like what you read here, I’m very sorry I’ve disappointed you, but maybe YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM isn’t for you. At the same time, however, I don’t think my beliefs or views or opinions are insanely liberal or out there. I’m not sitting here promoting FEMEN, or crazy ass shit like that. I’m simply telling it as it is… or as I see things.
    • I WILL tell it like it is. Therefore I will point out stereotypes, and I will make harsh assumptions. Moreover, my criticism of girls/women of the twenty-something range is not meant to be spiteful, or hateful. What I should probably clarify, is that I fall under these stereotypes and assumptions – and don’t see myself above any of it. I will call you out ladies and gents, but I don’t see myself as above the problem either.
    • Readership: I do care very much about my audience and my amazing readers. You all are incredible for putting up with my snarkiness, rants, and general shenanigans. What makes my readership special and spectacular, is that you all read YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM because you want to (or because I’ve spammed your timelines/newsfeeds). It’s not like I’m a particular niche writer who is confined to a particular topic, with particular readers who expect things from me. Instead, all my readers (I think?) expect from me is commentary on society, technology, sports, media (whatever I see fit), with the sassy twist. And that’s what I always aim for. Like I said previously, readership is very important to me and I want nothing other than to entertain the pants off of you guys, however, I will not limit my voice to garner the biggest amount of readers. (I mean, when we start talking about book deals, then we can negotiate).
    • Being one of the guys: I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but I’M AN AVID SPORTS FAN! I assure you, I am not putting up a front, I’m not pretending to be one of the guys. When given the choice, I will 99% of the time pick going to a dive bar and watching a (preferably baseball) game, over going to a club. Does this mean I’m a lesbian? No (Although this has confused many straight men and queer women alike. Going on record here: I’m a straight girl). Does this mean I’m a man? Nope (I lack the phallus part). So you’re a tom boy? Hardly. I love dressing up, looking pretty, getting dolled up (although some of that shit does not need to be a necessary thing, ladies), but I also recognize this doesn’t have to be an every day thang. Being a sports fan does not mean you are trying to be one of the guys, or that youre a lesbian, or that youre trying too hard. S**t happens. Despite all of that though, I’m sorry for the heteronormative males who find my girly posts boring, and the heteronormative females who find my sports posts “literally the most boring thing”. I apologize. But what can you do?
    • Can we talk about Cosmo magazines? They are NOT okay. In fact, despite working almost two years in magazine publishing for Women’s Lifestyle magazines (Martha Stewart Living + franchise and Good Housekeeping), I cannot truly say I particularly enjoy these magazines. Instead, I am more likely to be perusing the online content of GQ, Esquire, Details, and Complex. Yes, the men’s fashion spreads are much more to look at, but their editorial content has much more… girth (sorry, I had to). It’s sharper and more cutting edge. Cosmo, I don’t need to hear for the umpteenth time the “25 Ways to Please Him”. Ladies, do yourself a favor and wean yourself off of magazines like Cosmopolitan. What’s so cosmopolitan about it anyways?

I hope this gives you all a sense of what YOUCANKISSMYSASS really is, who I am, and what to expect here. I wanted to use this particular email to respond to because I think it calls up a lot of concerns with this blog. Thanks, ********* for your note and moreover, for letting me clear the air here.

Have other questions? Concerns? Dissatisfaction? Affection? Don’t hesitate to email me!

Criticism is more than welcome! Something’s gotta quell my swelling ego. Also, it should be said that I do not post all of my hate mail publicly!

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4 Comments

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  1. nice. wish i got more hate mail.

  2. Good reply! We always have to remember, we’re never going to please everyone all the time. There’s always someone who has their opinion (however good or bad) it is. Funny thing about magazines, my hubby reads my magazines, so why the heck can’t a gal read a guy’s mag! And ******** should just get over the sports thing! If it weren’t for male and female both enjoying sports, what fun would they be? What fun would anything be, matter fact without both sexes sharing in life?

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