Decoding Samuel L. Jackson on Twitter

[via @SamuelLJackson Twitter]
[via @SamuelLJackson Twitter]
Samuel L. Jackson is quite possibly one of my favorite actors. He loves sports, he’s the highest grossing actor of all time, and he doesn’t hesitate… ever… to tell it like it is. This is clearly evidenced by his… colorful vocabulary and quite enigmatic Twitter feed. His highlights have included live tweeting the 2012 Summer Olympics (or the “Mahgfaqqinn Lympics“), the Superbowl and the NBA Championship. But often times, it’s hard to follow Jackson’s train of thought, or even understand what he’s trying to say. So we’ve broken it down so we can all better understand Sammy J.

    • Do not be alarmed by CAPSLOCK or EXCESS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the most important part. At first glance, Samuel L. Jackson’s Twitter timeline might look like a 12 year old slipped his chubby little fingers on CapsLock and then his finger got lazy while resting on the exclamation poitns. But alas, it’s only Sammy J’s excitement/frustration / general emotion he is trying to purvey
    • He hates referees. According to Samuel L. Jackson, refs seem to be the scum of the earth (I agree to some extent). But guys, he actually really hates most officials. Whether they’re NBA officials, NFL referees, or Olympic judges…
      [via gawker.com]
      [via gawker.com]
    • He hates Jeff VanGundy. (Also, he likes to use euphemisms like “Get [so and so] some kneepads!” when said person is kissing ass).
      Screen shot 2013-06-19 at 1.59.46 PM

    • “Mo********ing” has multiple spellings and can be inserted in many different words:– “TONYMUTHAFUCKKYNPARKER” = Tony Parker
      – “BADMUHFOUGHCCENMINTON” = Badminton
      – “BUTTAFUQQINFLY” = Butterfly
      – “PoinMuthaphuqqinBlank” = Point blank
      – “UnMuthafukkinbelieveable!!!” = Unbelieveable
      – Other spellings: “MUPFUQQAH” (now, is that a silent P?), “MUPHUKKAHAZ“, “MOUTHUGHPFOUQQIN“, “MUGTHAPHAKKAW”, “MOZAPFAXXAH”, “MOUGHPHOUQQYN”, etc.
    • Passive aggressiveness is the key… Or just aggressiveness in general. Like when he called out NYTimes film critic, A.O. Scott on his write up of the Avengers.

Screen shot 2013-06-19 at 2.04.13 PM

Lastly, Samuel L. Jackson is extremely biased and opinionated. He HATES the Heat (he calls Chris Bosh – Bish Bosh… amazing), is fiercely an American, and was a Ravens fan during the Superbowl. To say the least, he makes things interesting.  So prepare yourself for Samuel L. Jackson’s coverage of NBA Championship Game 7. It’s sure to be nothing short of amazing. The game I could care less about… but Sammy J’s coverage of the game… I am ecstatic.

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