LADIES IN THE HOUSE:
THIS MONTH WAS A BIG FUCK YEAH TO FEMINISM AND LGBTQ RIGHTS! In California Prop 8 was finally overturned. The Supreme Court also struck down DOMA with the help of Notorious RBG, AKA Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Check out the Notorious RBG Tumblr if you haven’t yet because it’s amazing). Meanwhile, Senator Wendy Davis in Texas WERQd a 13 hour filibuster to block a restrictive abortion bill. The country fell in love with her, as well as her pink ass shoes (Even Lil-B shows support). Ladies in the HOUSE stand UP! Also, @HillaryClinton finally joined Twitter and proved she can be sassy and spunky through her Twitter bio.
Sure, we had to wade knee deep in mud, and survive a tropical storm, but it was all worth seeing Azalea Banks, The xx, alt-J, MSMR, Kings of Leon, and Kanye etc. Right? Yeah Day 1 was extremely rough, storm and all, but once you got past the fact that Randalls Island would be likened to a swamp, you could have yourself a good time. Lessons learned: Even though it’s also a music festival, music festival attire at Governors Ball does not equate to that of Coachella, considering Coachella is in the dry desert of California, and Governors Ball is… on a fucking small island off of Manhattan. Quite possibly the highlight of my weekend was seeing girls find out their Coachella attire wasn’t up to par with the mud at Governors Ball. Oh, those brand new shoes you bought? Your royally f***ed, honey, once you step off that ferry it’s ALL mud. Did I laugh at girls’ faces who weren’t appropriately dressed / prepared with boots etc? YOU BETCHA.
More on celebrities on the downward spiral. Paula Deen’s racial slurs, therefore law suits, therefore companies her dropping her like a Skrillex beat, has been a flurry of fantastic one liners and youtube videos for us to marvel at. Her apology video she released the day after her remarks is actually really depressing, considering its the queen of everything butter, fried and fattening (like, how can any of those lead to negative energy?). My personal favorite one liner of Deen’s came from her TODAY show interview with Matt Lauer, when she tells Lauer and viewers out there, “I is what I is”. Oh Paula Deen. You’ll always have a special place in my heart, especially after watching your fantastic Lasagna Sandwich masterpiece video (I’ve linked this on my blog before, but BY GOD if you haven’t seen it, you really need to). For the love of all things Southern, gluttonous, and disgustingly delicious (I’d imagine)… you will be gravely missed Miss Deen.
Notable Search Engine Terms For YOUCANKISSMYSASS.COM:
- “david freese blushing” – Oh girl (or boy), I am SURE it is quite the sight. Just google imaged “David Freese blushing” and nothing with him noticeably blushing. Sad day.
- “sexy single sf giants players” – This is the worst ever because NONE of the Giants are single now! They all married their high school sweethearts. Trust me. I’ve done ample amounts of research into this. Dont. Even. Try.
- “sally draper naked” – Let me use this opportunity as a chance to say that pedophiles are NOT welcome here.
- “eyes in upper right hand corner in google” – Can’t tell if paranoid about NSA, or if really a thing…
- “catholic guilt sucks” – #TRUTH. I feel you, friend.
- “chase you? bitch i don’t even chase my liquor don draper meme” – I just checked. This actually isn’t a meme… but oh my god it should be.
Other notable things that happened in June:
-Colin Kaepernick threw out the first pitch at a SFGiants game… are we really surprised he hit 87MPH? He used to play baseball. Sidenote: Still miss Alex Smith. There, I said it.
-Yeah, the Heat on the NBA Championships, but more importantly, my main man, Chris Bosh is still making a fool of himself. I really do love Bosh and his whackjob antics:
What we can look forward to in July:
-THE MLB ALL STAR GAME DUH. That’s all that really matters.