Twenty-Somethings Are the Most Insufferable Human Beings Ever, Apparently

Remember in the series preimiere of GIRLS when Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham) declared, “I may be the voice of my generation”? She knew she was referring to the most insufferable, sad, dismal, generation to date… the goddamn twenty-somethings.

Our parents, or grandparents, were referred to as the “baby boomers”. That was a generational name I could have taken on. Its definitive, like my parents got busy after the war so here I am! Hence, the BOOM! Yet, “twenty-something” is so ambiguous. Granted, I use the term a lot on my blog (see here and here) because its a term we can all relate to – but what is it exactly we’re sharing, what is it we have in common? Ambiguity? We’re “somethings”? It’s like we’re all undecided as to where to go in life, whether we’re in our teens or our thirties (god forbid). We’re just in this perpetual “twenty-something” purgatory for a good decade until we can definitively be thirty (THIRTY GODDAMMIT! – talk about decisive). We’re teetering on the edge of responsible, mature adult and carefree kids. It’s a dangerous line. The fine line between Top Ramen for dinner and a tagliatelle primavera homemade. The fine line between binge drinking and a glass of red with dinner – or white when you’re eating seafood, of course. The fine line between knowing what a duvet cover is, and actually having an actual bed with a duvet cover. The fine line between partying/studying abroad in Barcelona and being forced to go to Amsterdam for work.

The very fact that Lena Dunham decided to put that oh-so-famous line “I may be the voice of my generation”, into the first episode of her show, is telling of her “twenty something” generation. Apparently we need a voice. We’re too wishy-washy, all over the place, to define ourselves. Shit. I’m not really comfortable being a “something”. It’s like when you’ve met someone and that person introduces you to someone else as “Madeleine… something”. Annoying? Yes. Degrading? Borderline.

What bugs me more than the term’s ambiguity is the negative connotations it has. Have you ever Google searched “Twenty-Something” or “20-Something”? Don’t. Unless you want to feel entirely inadequate in today’s modern society.

Apparently we don’t know how to live…

How to Be a 20-Something – (“Date a Republican just so you can say you dated a Republican.”)
15 Helpful Thoughts and Observations for Everyone In Their 20s – (“The city you live in isn’t as bad as you perceive it”)
Seven Things a Twentysomething Can’t Do- (“Commit to plans”)
100 Things Every 20-Something Needs To Realize– (“You don’t have ADD.”)

When we are trying to live, it’s apparently just out of survival…

How To Life-Hack a Twenty-Something Year Old – (“Typically you can use kitten GIFs”)
6 Things A Twentysomething Needs In Order To Survive (“A #dark period in their lives”)
Dear Parents: Stop Worrying That your 20-Something Is Lost  – (“Personal growth looks a lot like being lost. Lost is okay.”)
For 20-Somethings, Ambition at a Cost– (“But I happen to be a delusionally positive person.”)

Since we’re all in our twenties, we’re apparently all the same person. Damn it feels good to be generalized…

22 Signs You’re A Typical 20-Something – (“You have an opinion about Lena Dunham that EVERYBODY NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW.”)
Why The Current Crop of Twentysomethings Are Going To Be Okay – (“Even as we hold out hope that something will reverse the trajectory, we are managing our decline, we are making do.”)

(Also, apparently we need to be told how to dress? I’m sorry, but a “button down you wore to your graduation matched with dirty black skinny jeans and boat shoes” does not a twenty-something make.)

But the overall theme is that everyone essentially hates us…

What Is It About 20-Somethings? – We get off on a wrong foot here with the opening line being “Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up?” For starters, it usually takes about a decade… USUALLY. Also terms of note in this article are, “failure to launch” and “boomerang kids”. Go ahead. Tell us how you really feel.
The Twentysomethigns Are All Right – Well, jeez, thanks. If I ever need a backhanded compliment again, I’ll just be sure to call you, Nathan Heller.

If you read these articles you’ll find a huge portion of them are written by you, you assholes. You twenty-somethings are doing this to us and ourselves. We’re giving ourselves the bad rap. Maybe one word can collectively define us? That word being: self-depricating. As a twentysomething, I pose the question: whats so bad about being twenty anyways? If you ask me, it’s pretty fantastic. Everyone loathes their thirties anyways, right?

As Eve (and Missy Elliot) once said, “Hey, hey I don’t care what bitches say. None of yall can’t f**k with me, I’m the b**** you wanna be“… or something like that. The thirtysomethings, fortysomethings, fiftysomethings, sixtysomethings and seventysomethings (all of the other -somethings here on after probably just don’t care) are secretly jealous of us… so much so that it exudes out of them in the form of bitterness.


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