Dear Unlimited Boozy Brunch,
God, I’m feeling so many emotions right now. You’ve been ripped away from me. Some terrible people don’t want us together. And shame on them. Don’t they see how happy you make me? Oh U.B.B…. life can be so unfair sometimes.
Some neophytes out there may not understand who you are. The first part of you being brunch – occurring usually on Sundays or Saturdays between the hours of 12-4pm. Brunch. The eggs, the toast, the bacon, the waffles, the sandiwiches, the potatoes (in all forms!), the sweet, the savory, it all makes you who you are U.B.B… uniquely lovely, beautiful and might I say, absolutely delicious. The Unlimited Boozy part is what makes you entirely unique. Everyone needs a mimosa, sangria, mojito, margarita, bloody mary to accompany their brunch. It just works. For a fixed price in NYC, we can have unlimited drinks of our choosing. Unlimited. Boozy. Brunch. You’re beautiful in every way. Every. Single. Way. Whether its unlimited champagne mojitos with my huevos rancheros, or unlimited mimosas with my eggs benedict… you’re simply fantastic in all forms. You are mine, and I am yours.
We have so many Instagrams together U.B.B., thereby making our relationship official. We’ve had our moments all over the city – Essex, Yerba Buena, the Sunburnt Calf, Cafe Cortadito, Poco, the Blind Pig, Amity Hall, Miss Lily’s, Epstein’s, Macondo, Agozar… to name a few. We reveled in our lush love. We’ve had our moments. Our ups (Sunday funday, getting drunk during the day, the fantastic food, the fantastic booze), and our downs (passing out / being down for the count by 6pm, food babies). But I will always love you.
And now they’re trying to take you away from me.
Is nothing sacred? They came for the loves of some New Yorkers’ lives: they came for the cigarettes, the giant sodas, but the unlimited boozy brunch? THEY CANNOT DEPRIVE ME FROM YOU. And they won’t. U.B.B., you and I were meant to be. They can’t take you away… if they do, then this is a cruel, cruel world that we call New York City.