[Disclaimer: I don’t give a flying f*** if you haven’t watched the Season 4 premiere so don’t expect to see any **SPOILER ALERT** indications here to tell you to stop reading. Grow up.]
Sure, Arya is a downright badass, literally slaying men and shit… I could identify with that. Just being outright brutal. Maybe Ygritte is more my style, except a bout with Jon Snow and going all out commando under a fur coat, does not a lady make (but I wouldn’t mind me some Jon Snow). And Brienne of Tarth… not my style either. Though my parents often call me a “princess” (complete with rolled eyes and dismissal), I can’t say I can identify with Sansa Stark either.. somehow I can’t see her emerging as a strong heroine in this season, but who knows. Then there’s Kahleesi, Mother of Dragons, who’s not only badass but also shows an inkling of a gratuitous heart (plus she’s effectively friend zoned Jorah for-fucking-ever and has no qualms about it). She’s the mother of dragons… and as my Twitter bio says, I’m the mother of food babies. But alas, it’s none of these women I best identify with.
But Cersei Lannister? ABSOLUTELY YES. I mean, if you count out the brother-sister incest part that is. Cersei is a bad bitch and she couldn’t care less. Raised a daddy’s girl, Cersei certainly wasn’t the first, but masterfully perfected the marriage of convenience and money and power when tying the knot with her now deceased hubby. And now she has a little King on her hands who she may or may not be able to order around… which brings me to my first point… She is bossy and demands respect. I think when King Joffrey got slapped he probably said something smart-alecky, obviously. Cersei ain’t gonna let that fly. Defining, “talk shit, get hit”.
She’s a ride or die chick. Familial loyalty is above all else in her book… that, and power. But she does everything to keep it in the family… ermm… yeah, about that.
She has a look that is arguably the meanest bitchface in the game. She’s always like, “YOU’RE WELCOME, I’M DOING YOU A FAVOR. KISS MY ASS NOW”. Obviously not explicitly said, but might as well. That bitch face just makes a person next to obsolete. See Exhibits A-D below. Like literal liquid fire behind those eyes.
Cersei is the best woman in a man’s world. Albeit, GoT has taken on a rather strong feminist stance, but hey, I’m all about that. Cersei realizes she doesn’t have the balls of her brothers or father and does anything she can to gain power, despite being a woman. She plays the game just like all of the men, even moreso as she never ends up with blood directly on her hands. Also, she makes penis jokes a lot which is fantastic (To Tyrion, “That little worm between your legs does half your thinking.“). She also has basically said numerous times to Sansa that basically “pussy is power”… perhaps not in those words exactly, but you get the idea.
But most of all, I love Cersei, my #SpiritAnimal sister because she is a fellow WINO. Girl knows how to drink, how to party, and when to get appropriately sloshed.
This is what a Queen looks like. Just warm up that cold, black heart with some vino.