Humpday Harangue 7/9

Crumbs announced they’re closing all of their stores, fantastic. Where the hell am I going to get my face-sized cupcakes to binge eat now??? Hmm? But seriously, is this part of a larger trending decline of the cupcake fad? If so, how sad 😦 What has this world come to? Cro-fucking-nuts?

Is it just me or is this the first year that NBA trade rumors are getting out of hand? Of course I want to know where ‘Melo and Bosh and Wade and LeBron are going, but lets not make this a huge fucking deal like The Decision c. 2010. I hope James goes back to Cleveland and Melo to the Bulls, but I’m expecting everyone to resign with their respective teams by Friday.

And how about that Germany v. Brazil beat down last night? #nomercyrule

To all of my SF Giants fans, can we talk about the clusterfuck of a strike zone that home plate ump, Angel Hernandez was calling last night? Horrendous. Incredible. Incredibly horrendous.

Yesterday I got locked inside an apartment (not my own) with two strangers and my friend’s girlfriend had to come and let me out. My hand is bruised from frantically trying to break myself out of the apartment. Also, I’m a skilled locksmith, FYI.

Uber announced they recently lowered their prices, and by lowering their prices I mean UberX rides are down 20 fucking percent in NYC. Color me excited… and lazy.

This weather, man… I swear, I wouldn’t be opposed to ripping my shirt off on the way to work to hide my profuse sweating. I cannot.

Sorry, but this ELLE article on How West Coast Granola Culture Created Fashion’s Elite, makes me want to projectile vomit. Major eye roll.

Kendall Jenner made her Chanel Couture debut in flip flops… and we care because….?



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