“Women Against Feminism”: YOU’RE ON BLAST

This goddamn women against feminism movement has got my panties in a bunch. It really irks me that people can be so asinine. Granted, I understand if you choose not to identify as a feminist. That’s your prerogative and you can have at it (although I am under the belief that all women should be feminists in some sort, because, well, you’re a sensible woman who enjoys being a woman).

This movement comes out of the equally idiotic blogs, posts and movements such as, “Who needs feminism?” and “women against feminism”. What these people get right is that yes, feminism is often misunderstood and denigrated (CASE IN POINT: YOUR POOR ADVOCACY EFFORTS). These perturbed and poorly misinformed individuals probably should understand that they are part of the problem. What these movements get wrong? EVERYTHING. They claim they want gender equality – DON’T WE FUCKING ALL? – yet don’t think they benefit from all of the other aspects of feminism. Hilariously enough, a lot of these women who are vehemently “against feminism” are stay at home moms, etc. etc. which is like, good for you!

Probably the biggest proponent for (women’s rights) mother’s rights are feminists. Who the fuck else do you think got you maternity leave, paid paternity leave, domestic workers rights? A fucking man? Get your heads out of your asses.

Anyways, enough with the diatribe, onto the juicy parts.


I perused the tumblr of user submitted women against feminism and for the most part I was entirely entertained. The gist of it is, a chick writes a sign, and holds it up and takes a picture. On the sign is some idiotic reason as to why they do NOT need feminism…

Like so.
Like so.
DISCLAIMER: If you’re idiotic enough to user submit to that tumblr, then I have all rights to share your photo on here, because, Internet.

Yeah, that’s a reasonable, logical and completely rational explanation as to why you’re choosing to denounce a movement that would give all genders equality. GO TAKE A COLD SHOWER, BITCH! Take that stupid goddamn flower headband off of your head – it must be putting pressure on your brain, causing you to think irrationally. Your ” 😛 ” face is duly noted, as to be like hey I’m saying something really fucking dumb, but try to cut me some slack because 😛 face and I’m trying to be cute. No… just, no.
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You apparently don’t need to hold your own piece of paper as it seems your boobs seem to be doing that just fine. But also, CAN YOU BE MORE ORIGINAL? Give me the whole “feminists are just an army of angry vaginas” line one more time, dammit. Oldest feminist insult in the book. But like really, who wants to be a happy vagina anyways? It’s fine. My angry vagina doesn’t want to back you anyways, girlfriend.
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 Oh gurl has got A LOT of grievances to air:

  1. She is not oppressed
  2. She is not a victim
  3. She don’t need a movements help
  4. Feminism should be called Inism
  5. She hearts the D

To that, I have to say:

  1. You don’t have to be oppressed to be a feminism. In fact, it’s all about self empowerment, so go you, girlfriend. You win!
  2. Again, you win. Also what is victim as opposed to “victim”. Plz clarify. Like “victim” of sexual assault? or victim of sexual assault. Your guidance is needed and much appreciated.
  3. Another gold star. YOU AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN YOU DON’T NEED NO MOVEMENT’S HELP! Bey would be proud. But not, because every man, woman, trans, animal, etc. needs someone to look out for their rights, you can’t go it completely alone, gal.
  4. Dumb. Didn’t think that one through, did ya?
  5. Don’t we all. Congratulations.
    ______

Sounds like you’re just man-dependent which is cool. I feel ya. But I want to suggest you perhaps start some cardio and definitely some strengthening program it really would help you with that heavy wardrobe lifting. Because you know, it wouldn’t hurt you or any other female to do some heavy lifting. But also, maybe you shouldn’t live in a FOURTH FLOOR WALK UP, but also MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR 4TH FLOOR WALK UP BEFORE YOU BOUGHT A HEAVY WARDROBE. But you didn’t… so BAM just like that FEMINISM ENDED! :-O Also, can we clarify who is “Teddy Bear”? Your actual Teddy Bear? I’m really terrible at telling ages but I can assume she is about 12-30 years old (honestly, I’m that bad at guessing ages). Thats a guess on the lower side, considering she has a Teddy Bear who knows she might be fresh out of Pre K or something… NO WONDER SHE DOESN’T NEED FEMINISM! I get it.
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OH SO THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING WRONG!!! Holy hell, had I known it was that easy! JOKES ON ME!

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OKAY YOU’RE TROLLING ME NOW…. RIGHT?!

 For the love of all things pink and sweet, and luscious and well, feminine. Please tell me these ladies are simply trolling the internet. Am I missing something? Because this could be a lot of fun, if not.

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2 Comments

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  1. Absolutely love this. You are hilarious. Thank you for this post! haha

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