Going Through a Dating Slump: What I’ve Learned From Baseball

Sometimes a series of events occurs when you realize, “you know what – maybe I should take a step back from dating for now”.

  • You see a guy you neglected to set up a date with, because lack of interest, on a TV commercial.
  • Everybody around you is getting married or pregnant (or married and pregnant).
  • You’re out drinking at a lounge and a guy sits on you… literally sits on you.
  • You wake up to a text addressed to you and 10 other recipients from some guy’s jilted ex girlfriend (enter: mass flurry of group texts – on a related note, how do I unsubscribe to a group text?)
  • You are on the subway and the guy next to you smiles at you and you abashedly look down… and realize you are stepping on his foot.
  • Someone calls you an “emotional robot”
  • You match with a puppy on Tinder
  • And then of course there was this incident

So needless to say… I’m taking a break from dating. No… let’s be honest here, full disclosure:

I’m going through a dating slump.

Lucky for me, I’ve seen enough baseball in my lifetime to know just how to handle a slump (baseball players, especially the San Francisco Giants go through slumps ALL the time).

CHANGE YOUR BATTING STANCE

Remember Aaron Rowand?

You know, change up your game. Change up your dating style. Maybe I’ll try day dates instead of after-work drink dates? Change who you date, change where you date. My typical M.O. is pretty solid: the usual type of guy I date (if you know, you know), at a preferable winebar in close proximity to my apartment (only because I’m lazy, but also if I have to walk out on a date then at least transportation wasn’t involved). Maybe I need a change of scenery? Or maybe I should *GASP* date different types of guys. Could you imagine?

DON’T BE AFRAID TO WORK THE COUNT

Here’s a Timmy GIF just because.

Some of the best batters in baseball make the pitcher work for it. They won’t take a quick 3 pitch strikeout, instead, they’ll work the pitcher to a full count, maybe foul off a few balls, and THEN strike out. You end up learning more about the pitcher, and also you learn about yourself as a batter. What pitches you like, what pitches you can hit but more importantly, what pitches you just will not put up with. So what if you strike out? The important takeaway is that you made them work for it and you’re wiser for it.

LEARN THE WAIT FOR THE RIGHT PITCH

… but not this pitch.

Learning how to strike out gracefully, or more effectively by learning from it is just as important as learning how to wait for the right pitch to hit. Let me reiterate.. You should work the count and not shy away from sitting on pitches. Sometimes the right pitch will come to you, sometimes it won’t. But when it does, you’ll know. It might be a base hit, ground rule double or even a home run. It’s hard to tell. It’s always about the timing.

LOOSEN YOUR GRIP


A lot of people, myself included, put a lot of pressure on dating. You stress yourself out because you’re going through a rough spot and can’t get anything to stick. Hitters know the worst thing you can do is let it get to your head. Baseball, and dating, after all are both mental games. The more you just have fun with it the better the outcome. Confidence is key.

LISTEN TO YOUR COACHES

“I think you’re just dating the wrong types of guys,” is something I’ve heard almost on a weekly basis from my close friends. I’m a strong proponent on doing whatever the hell you want, but in cases like this, it’s wise to listen to people outside of your head and with unbiased, unemotional opinions. So maybe it is time to date different guys, step outside of your safe zone

PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT

Just kidding.

 

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