Gifts for the Basic Bitch in Your Life
A Starbucks Coffee Tumbler, $109.95
What girl doesn’t like to drink her Starbucks in style. Let your gal pal hand over her tumbler for her morning latte in style (alongside her Starbucks gold card, DUH), with this handy (see what I did there) gift! Did I mention it has Swarovsky crystals? Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!
Kardashian Glow, $40.00
You are never ever complete without your bronzer! Having a year-round orange-y glow is imperative. Pale during the Winter? A TRAVESTY. Why not take from the best bitches and buy this gift for your bestie who needs some color. It even has “energizing notes of Lime Nectarine”, sounds… interesting…
Taylor Swift’s 1989 Album, $12.99
Because T Swift is the basic bitches queen (lowercase Q, because we all know who the “Queen” is.
Kale Chips, $7.99
Since Kale is the basic bitch of the food world, its only fitting right? And making your own kale chips at home is just so not you.
Cupcake Pinot Grigio, $11.00
The GREEJ (my nickname, whatever), or Pinot Grigio is the Basic Bitche’s drink of choice. Just look at Ramona Singer on RHONY. Get this bottle because OMG the label is SOOO CUTE and because CUPCAKES are soooo CUTE!
Gifts for the Bro in Your Life
A Vineyard Vines Gift Card, amount TBD
A bro without a good pair of Vineyard Vines or Chubbies, does not a bro make.
A Gym Membership, price varies per month
What bro does not want to get swoll? This is an obvious. Note: a gym membership does not imply actually working out. As I’ve seen plenty of “gym bros” at the gym… but not working out. Check yourself. Also, buy your guy a tub of Whey… I heard thats the thing to do.
Madden NFL 15, $59.99
Guys love video games. Guys love football. Combine the two and you have a sack of potatoes on your couch for hours on end. Also, that seems like a high price to pay for a video game, is it not?
Ralph Lauren Cashmere Half-Zip Sweater, $425.00
The half-zip game is just as essential to a bro as yoga pants are to a basic bitch. Ralph Lauren is obviously the chosen brand of luxury bros. Also see, JP Morgan zip fleeces (a seasonal favorite of mine).
Craft Beer Club, $39.00
Microbreweries, hops, craft beer, local, etc. are part of the bros vocabulary right after he graduated college or graduated drinking BudLight / Rolling Rock and moved onto bigger and better things. This is his attempt to be sophisticated so let it happen.