Last year I celebrated my birthday with one of my best friends, singing Taylor Swifts 22 in Hong Kong in a hotel room in Kowloon. I regret nothing.
22 is nothing though. Something about 23 is a bit more profound.
- For starters, youre an adult. At 23 people actually start expecting you to act like one.
- Youre probably still on your parents insurance. That gives you a few more years until you have to figure out the price between life or death (dramatically speaking, but actually).
- You dont understand words like FLEEK. And sometimes cultural trends or stories go by without you even understanding them. Its no skin off your back though.
- You finally get what Blink182 was talking about when they said, “Nobody likes you when youre 23.” Because theyre right. NOBODY LIKES YOU.
- Right now, in the United States there are more 23 year olds than any other age. Which does not explain why I cant get a decent date at any given time.
- You get grouped into being called a Millennial/Gen Y (someone explain this to me) which is both insulting and cool… depending on which way you look at it and considering Millennial is a term that encompasses anyone from the age of 18 to 30.
- When you meet people youre semi attracted you, you look at their hands for wedding bands. Queue the mild discomfort.
- Youre young enough to eat whatever you want (fast food, Halal Guys) and drink whatever you want without terrifying repercussions. However, youre old enough to see the end to this luxury on the horizon. You actually start to care about your metabolism.
- You start to become attracted to guys with a dad bod.
- You beat teen pregnancy, yet no longer can be a “Teen Sensation” like Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus (but do you really want to be?)
- You find children completely, and utterly horrifying and abhorrent, no matter what age they are.
- A weekend in is entirely much more luxurious and fun than going out Friday/Saturday/Sunday.
- Your parents will (if they havent already) start weaning you off of the hypothetical teat / Bank of Mom & Dad. This may or may not start with taking you off of your Family Plan with AT&T.
- Drinking during the week is slightly less feasible considering you have to wake up and be a fully functioning member of society at your full time job, rather than wake up, roll out of bed and go to your Mythology college lecture.
- You start to go to bed at a reasonable time. Compared to your 2a.m. nights in college, being in bed by 9p.m. is a #blessing.
- When people ask you for your ID you no longer feel guilty, excited, and it becomes a common place thing.
- You no longer have to pretend you like people you dont and kiss ass. Youre a grown woman and you cant be bothered with petty things like that.
- Pay day becomes your shining light in a month of darkness.
- Youve managed your own expectations in not becoming as cool as Lena Dunham and as successful as Mark Zuckerberg and have settled for saying youll write a novel one day…
- You realize youve always had best friends in your parents. Youre over the angsty teenage times and the independent collegiate years.
- You start to become more financially responsible. You have a 401K, you have a decent savings account, you have a good credit score. You blow your money on alcohol and clothes you dont need.
- Your mother is starting to become worrisome about your dating life. Before she was hands off. Now shes wondering if they are “marriage material.” LORD SAVE US.
- Youve successfully mastered multi tasking and putting off drink dates… because you can and you will.