The Bachelor vs. Bad Girls Club

I clearly have a thing for Bad Girls Club. I couldn’t tell you what it is (… well, its the fights that I take notes during), but I do know that you can bet I’ll watch it when I come across it. Its no surprise that when I watch The Bachelor, I cant help but compare it to the ultimate show, Bad Girls Club.

For starters, Bad Girls Club is basically minority girls club. THERE. I said it. But its true. And The Bachelor has obviously gotten a lot of flack for its lack of minorities. Which, you know, I don’t care about but when we’re comparing apples to apples (because obviously Bad Girls Club is just as worthy as a prime time network slot as The Bachelor is), someone has to say it. So there. I did.

The Bachelor chicks are always made up, hair did, best clothes / gym clothes on 24/7. One chick even sleeps in her makeup. Does Britt even know how bad that is for your skin? Didn’t her mother ever teach her to take her makeup off before bed? Also, how do her pillows stay clean? The BGC chicks are 90% of the time in a state of disarray. When they’re in the house (AKA not in public), they are in bras (some girls, I will tell you, look as if they have never step foot in a gym but of course… they’re bad girls so #fuckyeahfeminism), their weaves are askew or completely off, and even more shockingly is the fact that they allow themselves to be seen on TV completely bare of makeup a stark, stark contrast to their drag queen-esque faces of makeup applied when they go out. Have you ever looked death in the eye? Its called a Bad Girl when she first wakes up in the morning after seeing her with a full face of makeup the night before. The gals on The Bachelor, however, I watch and say, “YEAH FUCKING RIGHT YOU WOKE UP LIKE THAT.”

Obviously the drinking in BGC is tantamount to the drinking in The Bachelor (maybe just not as prevalent). The joke of The Bachelor gals drinking white wine out of glasses and living the housewife stereotype is just too easy to make there. I do think that the drinks consumed on BGC, when they are not being thrown in each others’ faces, seem a lot more interesting than white wine (innuendo unintentional). They’re usually a form of jungle juice concoction mixed in red solo cups. I can support it.

There are a lot of tears in The Bachelor, and probably slightly less tears in BGC. Obviously girls on The Bachelor are crying over Prince Farming because that’s what girls do and that’s what they’re there for. BGC club fights are over repping ATL/LA/CHI TOWN etc., not being “real” enough, being too “fake”, or getting in each other’s personal space. Still trying to find the YouTube video of my favorite BGC chick, Rocky, probably on world star hip hop set to some trap music or something.

The overarching difference between the two is that the chicks on The Bachelor are very (obviously) manipulative, passive aggressive and calculative. There’s a lot of planning and strategizing going on. It’s frustrating to watch because goddammit I JUST WANT CONFRONTATION. On the other end, Bad Girls Club chicks tell it like it is, hardly use their words to solve problems (weave pulling, my favorite tactic, is fair game), make alliances and friendships only to break them the moment they’re rubbed the wrong way and will shout expletives because they feel like it and WHO CARES. Granted, BGC from Season 7 Tiara once said, “None of these b*tches would bust a grape in a fruit fight in a Welch’s backyard,” however this obviously has been proven false in every season. The Bachelor’s Kelsey Poe’s idea of a insult is actually, “I’m blessed with eloquence, and I’m articulate and I use a lot of words. Because I’m smart.” LIKE, JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT KELSEY, YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

And speaking of Kelsey… Her panic attack episode was when the differences between the two shows was extremely evident. First of all, if you need medical attention on BGC, its probably because you had a glass vase or mirror thrown at you, or maybe a handle of vodka broken over your head. Most likely. But then again I’ve rarely seen medical attention on the show because they suck it up and deal with it. The Bachelor on the other hand, featured a panic attack striven chick on the floor that needed medical attention. Do you know what happens when normal people have panic attacks? They take a xanax and maybe cry in a bathroom stall and get the fuck over it. And that’s what one of these chicks on The Bachelor should have told Kelsey. Instead they do this passive aggressive gig around her and pretend that there is not a psycho among them and let it be. Like, fine. That’s great. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t help Kelsey and The Bachelor chicks aren’t helping themselves either. I do think that when the girls on BGC call each other out on their bullshit, they make each other better. Right?

I think it’s fair to say that no contestants on The Bachelor could last one day on Bad Girls Club, and no Bad Girls Club chicks could last on The Bachelor. Except maybe Kaitlyn… I think she has a little bad girl in her.

I see you snappin those fingers, girl.

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